This blog is part of a series, “Reality Check: Exposing Myths from the Pro-Prostitution Lobby.” Read the other installments in the series:
- 5 Arguments to Legalize/Fully Decriminalize Prostitution – DEBUNKED!
- No, Prostitution is Not the Same as Being an Athlete or a Secretary
TRIGGER WARNING: This blog contains numerous quotes from sex buyers. The quotes have been censored where possible, but remain disturbing and graphic.
“She was black-out drunk. I’ve always wanted to f**k a drunk wh*re.”
“Well, I hammered away at her angrily because she made me so mad. Her lamenting didn’t bother me too much. Don’t let her hot body fool you. She’s a rip-off.”
“It’s in our nature to be attracted to young women – so no one has to feel any shame for liking young girls. Young, hairless, and tight down there, how do you say no to that?”
These are all quotes from sex buyers. Further, they are all quotes from countries where prostitution has been legalized.
There is a myth that legalizing or fully decriminalizing prostitution (i.e. removing criminal penalties for sex buyers, pimps, and brothel keepers) makes the practice safe. Many argue that legitimizing prostitution would turn it into a job like any other: “workers” who provide “services” to “clients.”
Well, let’s see how these so-called “clients” treat prostituted women. Let’s see what the so-called “services” entail.
German feminist Elly Arrow did extensive research collecting quotes from sex buyers in countries where prostitution was legalized (Germany, Austria, and Switzerland). The quotes were left on buyer review boards, which are websites where men rate prostituted women like products.
Here’s what these sex buyer quotes show us about legalized or fully decriminalized prostitution:
1. Legalization/Full Decriminalization of Prostitution Increases Sex Trafficking
While proponents of legalization/full decriminalization claim that it would inhibit sex trafficking, the opposite is actually true. It encourages potential buyers who were initially hesitant to purchase sex because of the consequences. This increases the demand for paid sex and sex traffickers respond to this increased demand by providing more “supply”—i.e. entrapping more vulnerable people within the sex trade. Moreover, sex buyers are often fully aware that the women they are purchasing sexual access to are likely under the control of a sex trafficker/pimp or are underage, but too often they do not care or bother to report this crime.
The following quotes collected by Arrow paint a chilling picture of sex buyers’ callous indifference towards sex trafficking, including child sex trafficking:
“Reporting trafficking will only get me into trouble with the law or pimps.”
“Many women are sold into the sex industry as children and get none of the cash. Just food and a bed. Sadly, we could only change this if we stopped buying sex. But that’ll never happen.”
“If I ask a [prostituted woman] for her price, I can’t tell if she’s being forced. Her private life is none of my concern. I’m talking to a woman who is for sale, so all I talk about is what I want, what that’ll cost me and if that’s worth the cash.”
“There was this girlie of 13-14 years, very childlike. She hadn’t even developed breasts yet and was totally hairless … [graphic description of sex act] … It hurt her and she pushed me off. Other than that I was allowed to do anything I wanted to her, whatever came to mind … [graphic description of sex act] … Maybe she was on drugs. When I went back a few days later, she was gone.”
In some cases, the men claimed to care about people who are sex trafficked, but rationalized continuing to purchase them anyway:
“[Pimps/sex traffickers] are active in the background all the time. The exceptions where the women are independently working for their own profit can be counted on one hand in every club … I am aware of all that and it’s not that I don’t care, but I expect a club owner to keep this in the background so that the customer is not confronted with this. I can’t save the world or get the women out of their predicament, but I can treat them with respect and I do have empathy for the situation they’re in. The only alternative left is a rejection of the system and to stop participating in all of it.”
As displayed in the quotes above, the men are aware of the real solution to sex trafficking: to stop buying sex. Yet, sex buyers feel that it is more important for them to have sexual intercourse on demand than it is for these women to have autonomy over their own bodies and lives.
As the Attorney General of Ohio, Dave Yost, put it, “If you buy sex, you are accepting the possibility that you could be complicit in human trafficking.”
Empirical research also sheds light on how sex buying directly fuels sex trafficking. For example, a 2017 study which surveyed men in Boston found that 41% of the men who bought sex admitted to having purchased a prostituted woman who was controlled by a pimp.
The legalization of prostitution does not make the problem of sex trafficking disappear, it actually exacerbates it. An analysis of data from 150 countries found that nations where prostitution is legal reported higher inflows of human trafficking than in countries where it was partially or fully prohibited.
2. Rape is Rampant in Legalized/Fully Decriminalized Prostitution
Victims of sex trafficking experience serial rape, as they are forced to sell sex against their will. But even if the person is not sex trafficked, prostitution still often involves rape.
The quotes collected by Elly Arrow were teeming with examples of sex buyers raping a prostituted woman—including physically forcing her, willfully ignoring her protests or boundaries, ignoring the fact that she was drunk or on drugs and not in a state to consent, and more.
“I grabbed her, she wanted to turn away, but I pushed her down onto the bed.”
“She was trying to pull her legs together. I made sure she couldn’t.”
“She was completely drunk, but that doesn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing.”
“I’d like to take a drug addict home with me some time … Does anyone know a place in Hannover where these women offer themselves of where I could get in contact?”
“She tried to ease my thrusts by pushing against my legs, but I didn’t give her the chance.”
A study of 763 sex buyers across 6 countries found that 39% of German sex buyers agreed with the statement that “A man can do whatever he wants when he pays for a prostitute.” Thirty-five percent agreed that “The concept of rape does not apply to prostitutes.” Sex buyers view prostituted women as something they “purchased,” which leaves them feeling entitled to do whatever they want, even if the woman objects.
Prostituted people are also more likely to use drugs, which further inhibits their ability to give consent. As these quotes display, even when a prostituted person is under the influence of drugs or alcohol, this does not stop sex buyers from forcibly engaging in sexual intercourse with them.
And although many people believe that legalizing/fully decriminalizing prostitution would decrease instances of rape, this is actually not the case. In Rhode Island, indoor prostitution was legalized from 1980-2009, and during this time, instances of rape did not see a notable decrease.
🚨Learn the TRUTH about decriminalizing prostitution. 🚨
— National Center on Sexual Exploitation (@NCOSE) October 21, 2024
These myths further damage the prostituted person emotionally and normalize criminalizing the sexually exploited person involved.
Join the fight in passing the Survivor Model to decriminalize the victims of prostitution… pic.twitter.com/C8JMb67LdI
3. Physical Violence is Rampant in Legalized Prostitution
There is a misconception that legalized/fully decriminalized prostitution decreases instances of physical violence, but in fact, the legality of the practice has nothing to do with how “safe” prostitution is. As these quotes illustrate, sex buyers in countries with legalized/full decriminalized prostitution are still extremely violent towards prostituted women because they don’t view them as people, but rather as a form of “goods” they have purchased.
“Bruises are the go-to way that the guys who run the sex trade show affection to their women.”
“I … broke her in till she was bludgeoned raw.”
“Because she was so uninterested and I wanted to get things done, it was all over fast, but apparently not fast enough for her … I f**ked her til I came and then I kept going, until her lack of enthusiasm had almost turned into disgust … Well, she got a few bruises. Maybe the last punter wasn’t all that nice to her.”
Physical violence by sex buyers is still frequent in areas where prostitution is legalized or fully decriminalized. For example, in India, a study of 211 women who were prostituted in Mumbai found violence to be highly prevalent. Sixty-two percent reported sexual assault from male clients during the initial month after entry. A 2021 review of New Zealand’s legal framework on prostitution (which is often lauded by pro-prostitution advocates as the gold standard for full decriminalization) concluded that “violence is a risk every [prostituted person] takes on a daily basis: assault, rape and strangulation are not uncommon.”
On top of this, multiple studies find that men who buy sex are more likely to consume pornography and vise-versa. Pornography frequently depicts sexual acts that are degrading and violent towards women and children (see here and here), so it is no surprise that sex buyers are violent towards prostituted women, because this violence is learned by watching pornography.
4. Unprotected Sex is Rampant in Legalized Prostitution
In some countries where prostitution is legal, there are laws for mandatory condom use. However, these laws are rarely enforced. As these quotes show us, the sex buyers, often men, feel entitled to behave as they please given that they are paying for the prostituted person. Once behind closed doors, there is a little a woman can do to enforce the use of a condom if her buyer refuses and threatens her.
“She whispered: ‘Use a rubber!’ I whispered: ‘No.’”
“Be thankful that we laid the groundwork for you: When Alyssa* was still being shared around it took effort to convince her to put the rubber back into her purse.”
“Kiki* has been on drugs for countless years and been f**king condom-free ever since.”
“Blowjobs without a condom are standard.”
“For some extra cash you can do the whole thing without a rubber …”
A study on German sexual behavior found that sex buyers often refuse to use condoms and are indifferent towards the effect it will have on those they sexually engage with. Thirty-six percent of sex buyers who also have a primary romantic partner reported not using condoms with their partner. Half of those who reported sexual contact with prostitutes reported unprotected sexual intercourse outside of their partnership. Sex buyers are not only endangering prostituted persons by failing to use condoms, but also in some cases, their primary partner, if they do not use condoms while having multiple partners.
Furthermore, sex buyers are putting themselves at risk for STIs. A meta-analysis of the prevalence of HIV infection among men who purchase sex (MWPS) in low-income and middle-income countries, and the association between HIV infection and the purchase of sex, found that the risk of HIV infection was consistently higher among MWPS than among men who don’t.
5. Legalized Prostitution is STILL Unwanted Sex
Whether prostituted people are being trafficked, raped, or “voluntarily” engaging in prostitution, it is always the case that prostitution is unwanted sex. If the sex was wanted, the sex buyer would not have to pay the prostituted person to have it.
Prostitution does NOT meet current standards for sexual consent. Society has rightly moved away from a framework where consent encompasses reluctantly giving permission and has adopted a framework of “enthusiastic consent.” In other words, the person must genuinely and enthusiastically want to have sex. If that enthusiasm is not present, consent is not truly present.
Arrow’s research leaves no doubt that enthusiastic consent is not present in prostitution. The following quotes display the apathy, pain, and even disgust that prostituted persons show towards their sex buyers.
“You could tell she didn’t want to f**k at all. ‘Ouch’ she says and moves her hips away.”
“She is about as spirited as a sleeping pill and appears to be almost mute. Seemed totally passive and had no enthusiasm, like a block of ice … What a waste of my cash.”
“During sex she shows no emotions, is disinterested, insecure and scared. Figure and t*ts balance out the lethargic performance.”
“We had sex and I could see it in her face that she was disgusted by me.”
“What would be the point of pitying her? Then we’d both suffer! And then I gotta pay for the whole thing? Stupid! I wanna have fun, so she should play her part and stop b**ching.”
Furthermore, the anger and annoyance that many of these buyers feel toward the prostituted women for not being “engaged” during the sexual act, once again, show how this practice fuels male sexual entitlement. If we continue to attempt to legitimize a practice that exploits women, children, and all prostituted people, we are validating the idea that men are entitled to sex, no matter the cost.
ACTION: Ask Your Local Elected Officials to Hold Sex Buyers Accountable!
Sex buyers must be held accountable for their abuse of women, and the role they play in fueling sex trafficking. Ask your local elected officials to pass policies to combat sex buying! Take 30 seconds to complete the quick action below.
