August 21, 2012

170 Personal Stories About Pornography – FROM AUGUST SURVEY

On 8/16/2012 we sent out a survey about pornography and children. We left a space for people to share their personal experiences anonymously. You can view a PDF downloaded file of the personal experiences here.

If you are interested in the results of the survey, click this link: https://www.surveymonkey.com/sr.aspx?sm=sWXk9E4dPjME9CwX8ZJCXP9L6hxpg_2bjfEwuit9VQStk_3d

The password is: MIMonly

 

7. Would you like to anonymously share your experience with pornography? If yes, please share below.
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1. At a very young age, I saw a girl playmate bent over with a dress on, and she didn’t have any underpants on. I didn’t know what sex was then, but I knew I wanted to see more. In my teens, I found Playboys, and any other girlie magazines I could. Some friends and I decided that, when we turned 18, we were going to an X rated theater. They still had those, then. We did, and after that, I found video stores that had them. I became popular with my friends, because I knew all the “best” ones that were out at that time. This was a big deal, because I was picked on a lot as a kid. They became more easily available. And then the internet was born. I found all I could for free. If the internet was as big then, as it is now, I probably would have become totally immersed in it. Fortunately, I married a loving, Christian woman, and realized the magnitude of the problem I had. I found help, and have been able to be set free of this garbage. The temptations still come, with an occasional slip. But, I am not captivated by it any more. Praise God!!!! Tue, Mar 12, 2013 5:30 PM Find…
2. plesre clan facebook up Fri, Oct 5, 2012 1:47 PM Find…
3. Daily struggle Sat, Sep 8, 2012 3:11 PM Find…
4. I was playing with a friend in a park and someone threw boxes of porn magazines away in a dumpster. I cannot remember why we climbed in there but I think we thought it was empty or something. We saw a box with magazines in there. We looked at them because we were curious. It felt wrong to look so after a little bit we turned some over to not show the pictures. During this time I was being molested by a step-father so I didn’t discover it was really wrong until I was older, about 9. CPS(child protective services) said since he didn’t remember molesting me because he thought I was my mom and he was blacked out, it was “ok”. It is never ok to molest someone. When I was 13 I was dared with some friends to watch a pornographic movie; I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I could not stand to watch something like that.I am totally against pornography and when my children come to age or when we start watching tv again, we will talk to our children about sex, pornography, and how media makes it more easily accessible. Then we will take the steps to set up their own account with filters so they may not come accros it when they start going online. Mon, Sep 3, 2012 7:55 AM Find…
5. It is a true problem.one that takes huge efforts and much prayer to overcome. Sat, Sep 1, 2012 8:12 PM Find…
6. I saw two magazines under my uncle’s bed when visiting with my cousin, along with a couple sports magazines. I looked at them that time, and then one more time. But I was so convicted by God in my heart and felt the dirtiness of it, that I repented and next time found them and without looking at them, I tore them into shreds and threw them away. I never saw porn again. I’m 39 now. (I’m very fortunate though, because I had a strong prayer covering over my life. I could’ve easily been more susceptible to this if I hadn’t, just like any man.) Mon, Aug 27, 2012 6:05 PM Find…
7. It ruined my first marriage and now my current relationship is pretty much finished. My partner has no interest in me and spends all his time looking at teen porn (there is NO WAY those girls are 18 they look 12)! Sun, Aug 26, 2012 6:30 PM Find…
8. I found stack of magazines in a vacant lot on my way home from school. I was11 years old. I was unable to avoid it once I had looked through the stack. I hid them and went back to them often till they were ruined by rain. After that when ever there was an opportunity to look at it, I was helpless to avoid it.
As a teen I was big for my age and could pass for an adult. I was able to go in strip clubs and see the dancers. This led to the porn movies and years offrustration and depression. When I got married I committed to not look at or use porn any more.
There was short time when my wife and I did it together thinking it would help our love making. We quit that because it made things worse.
We have been married for32 years and have raised 7 children. We avoid porn like the plague that it is.
Fri, Aug 24, 2012 10:52 PM Find…
9. I was raped at 14 by my ex and his bio-brother and bio-father, who are R.S.O.’s, and went through Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence for 7 1/2 years because NO ONE would help me get me AND my boys out of the situation. I knew they had also done something to my oldest son at one point when they’d kidnapped him from me, but ‘couldn’t prove it’. I got out of that only to marry someone I’d known Through Church over 3 yrs, who began behaving the same way behind closed doors. I was pregnant, but that marriage didn’t last but 3 wks. I left the area 9mos. pregnant with my daughter, never to look back again. However, the first experience (and it’s family) continue to haunt me and my family. I’m in that area again and stuck due to finances. My 18yr old son finally revealed to DCFS what his father did, but they protect Them instead of us! They showed up on Facebook not shortly after the revealing and I believe they are stalking me and my family again, but no one cares…Again!!! Fri, Aug 24, 2012 10:42 PM Find…
10. I was at school in the computer lab trying to look up poems for an English assignment when pornography popped up the screen. Fri, Aug 24, 2012 9:22 PM Find…
11. As child my neighbor showed pornigraphy to me and also some of my friends as a gateway to molesting us and raping one of my friends. He used it to convince us that what he did with us was ok and “normal.” Fri, Aug 24, 2012 5:57 PM Find…
12. Pornography was one of the reasons, why I decided to divorce. My formal husband first respectet my whish not to have this sh.. in our house, because I hate it and we are christs, but few years after marriage I found this sh.. even more and worse in our house while cleaning. And it were not soft-cores anymore! He wathed hardcore, teens, anal a.s.o.! I understood, that he’ll never learn to respect me and women at all, althought he calls himself catholic. I prayed and waited some years, then I was gone with our baby. Fri, Aug 24, 2012 9:13 AM Find…
13. The struggle with pornography has been for a life time, I know it’s affects. Fri, Aug 24, 2012 4:30 AM Find…
14. Porn-Induced Sexual Dysfunction Fri, Aug 24, 2012 1:51 AM Find…
15. I enjoy pornography from time to time. I think if the participants are willing there’s no harm in it being made. And I think if the viewers aren’t addicts there’s nothing wrong with watching now and then. I think people who are so intensely opposed to porn have been raised overly religiously and are terrified of sex in any and all forms. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 11:52 PM Find…
16. I wish I could take back all my wasted time. It sucked 4 years of my life away. I lost an opportunity that I had worked 5 years toward. The threat of a relapse nearly broke me away from the most wonderful woman in the world. I still live in fear that I will go back into that old addiction. After all this time I can still feel the corrosive effect it had on my mind; a jagged hole that hurts every time I think about what I gave up, what I wasted, just to look at something to stimulate my passion.Don’t think for a minute that it won’t find an opportunity to rear its ugly head; even filtered searches for innocent terms can occasionally have something slip by. I wish I had had the foresight to install a filter on my computer… by 16 I was in charge of updating my antivirus software, it wouldn’t have been all that hard to add a web filter as well. Most parent’s don’t realize how pervasive it is. No matter how much you trust your children it is still essential that you have a barrier in place in case their own mental barriers aren’t strong enough.

When I was 14, I was told by an acquaintance at school to go to a specific website that he gave me the URL for. I could tell by the name that it wasn’t something I would be going to when I got home, but even after all these years I can still feel it branded into my memory. And that is just a link that I didn’t even look up at the time (I didn’t look it up till after I had already been caught by pornography)–the imagery that I saw in later id a thousand times worse.

I can never go back to what I was before I started viewing pornography. I will always be far behind my potential–what I could have been. I can feel the damage it did to me still festering in the back of my mind. I can be strong enough today not to look at it, but there is a constant worry that I may not be strong enough tomorrow.

I may live a life in fear of the future, but I still hope for a better one, and work every day to find it.

Thu, Aug 23, 2012 9:06 PM Find…
17. I am a mom of two girls. I have never approved of porn and think it should be taxed to the highest. But for my story. I was married for sixteen years my youngest daughter is totally disabled. My husband and I started drifting apart only about 6 months after we were married. At the time I did not understand why, He bought his own laptop and had his own password so no one could get in on it. He would push me away if I came close to him,he kept to himself all the time looking at the laptop.One of my children caught him downloading porn early one Sunday morning before he got ready to go to church! Needless to say we are divorced,he is alone and my daughter lives with me. This filth has ruined him and this family to this day he is alone watching porn. He has lost all desire to be close to a woman. This is sad and for the life of me I can’t understand why the gov. is taxing the american people to death.When they could tax the porn industry so much more.As to take a burden off of the american family possibly shutting down some of the industries wIth HIGH TAXES.. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:00 PM Find…
18. Finding pornography at home in my brothers room got lodged in my mind at an early age, then I came across it time and time again at friends house and elsewhere & it almost appeared glamorous and I thought I mght get involved one day. I know it’s wrong now, but for many years it lead me down a path where I was pretty much open to sex when I was younger, as well as drugs, etc. – it kind of numbs you to the point where you don’t respect your own body and for me, I didn’t realize what I was doing or where I was headed until I was much older and my best years had been foolishly wasted! Thu, Aug 23, 2012 7:56 PM Find…
19. It stole my innocence at a young age, long before I was capable of refusing it or turning away from it. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 7:42 PM Find…
20. I still remember the first time I saw a pornographic video. I was about 13 years old and my friend brought a pornographic video over to the house for us to watch while my parents were still at work. I was shocked by it, and I still remember the scenes depicted in the movie.
When I was 16, another friend lent me several pornographic videos that I watched in secret when my parents weren’t home. Suddenly, the videos weren’t so shocking, and I began to watch these videos over and over.
A couple of months later, I started to masturbate. I would either masturbate to images that I remembered from watching the videos, or through my imagination. From then on, I masturbated regularly for several years and continued to watch pornography.
After time, my mind became fixated on sexual acts and I was totally absorbed. I wanted to see sex for real, which gave birth to my struggle with voyeurism.
When I went to college, the internet explosion occurred and there were plenty of sites to visit. I would masturbate to large amounts of pornography and my voyeurism started spinning out of control. I would hide out in back of the girl’s dormitories to watch them undress, and in my insanity not even realize what I was doing. Masturbation became so compulsive that I did it in public places to the point of where I was doing it several times a day.
Later in my freshman year of college, I began dating my first girlfriend. We became increasingly physical in our relationship, yet despite this I persisted in my other habits while we were together. When we broke up at the beginning of our Senior year of college I was devastated. Fortunately, I had many Christian friends so I dove headlong into my faith. As a result, I was able to reduce my pornography usage, voyeurism, and masturbation, yet it continued to be a struggle well into my professional career.
I moved away from home and lived alone for 6 years. My pornography usage spun out of control and could not stop. My view of women totally deteriorated into sexual objects. The porn I looked at became increasingly aggressive in nature, depicting woman getting dominated and humiliated by groups of men.
I was living a double life; I would dress sharply and go to work, presenting myself as an upstanding individual, but I was rotting from the inside out. finally realized that my obsession with pornography and masturbation was taking a huge negative toll in my life and affected me in all the areas of my life.
I came to realize that I could not control my behaviors anymore, so again I turned to my faith to try to end my lifestyle.
Over the next couple of years, I had some breakthroughs in combatting my sexual addictions, however, it wasn’t until I was in a meeting with my then fiance’ and pastor because I only told her about my issues with sexual addiction shortly after we got engaged. It was then that I realized that I needed professional help to end my addiction. I began attending SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous), where I met many people like myself who struggled with the same issues, and I got the name of a therapist who specialized in treating sexual addiction.
From then on, I had to take a multi-faceted approach to arresting my addiction through attendance at SLAA meetings, weekly therapy, and spiritual guidance in my faith. Over time, I was able to drastically reduce masturbation and pornography because I had literally began to re-program my mind from the devastation pornography had caused. Today, I am proud to say that I have only looked at pornography a total of about 4 times in the past 3 years, and it has been over 3 years since I last masturbated.
Despite my successes, I still have to use an internet filter on my home computer, and be held accountable by several people in my support network to reduce the urge to look at pornography again. Simply put, pornography is a DRUG, albeit a powerful one, that has led to the demise of many men and women alike.
In my 5 years in recovery, I have seen people go to jail, be estranged from their families, contract STD’s, go through divorces, and literally lose everything due to sexual addictions which more often than not were preceded by pornography addiction.
I say with undoubted certainty that pornography IS the gateway drug to all sexual crimes, and it WILL lead people into a never-ending downward spiral if not dealt with. Again, I have witnessed this firsthand. I am very blessed to have a supportive wife and the people who have helped me maintain sobriety.
It is my hope that those who read this will find the strength to begin recovery if they are in pornography’s snares, and to shed light on the devastating effects of pornography addiction.
Thu, Aug 23, 2012 5:19 PM Find…
21. My father used it to desensitize me. I was sexually molested by him. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 4:14 PM Find…
22. I believe there is nothing wrong with sexual things except for the following. In those not yet at a stage where puberty is well underway, sexual arousal in any form creates an unhealthy fixation on sexual things. To put it in an analogy, younger people are spoiled with the “dessert” (physical/sexual things) of relationships. This makes the “bread and veggies” (emotions, feelings, spirit, etc) seem like necessary evils. When in fact the patient cultivation of these is the greatest high you’ll find. Dessert has its place in every diet. But if you eat it first, the rest is less appealing. The key with “dessert” is enjoying it at the appropriate time. Appropriate meaning “suitable for a particular purpose” and not necessarily socially acceptable.
In short, sexual arousal should compliment spiritual and emotional closeness with another person. Otherwise you’re numbed to spiritual intimacy. “You aren’t a body. You are a spirit. You have a body.”
Thu, Aug 23, 2012 4:14 PM Find…
23. Pornography, as with any addictive substance, starts out small and seemingly harmless, but then quickly consumes your time and/or money, and can eventually rob you of any respect toward your fellow man, let alone your willingness to interact with others. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 2:44 PM Find…
24. Exposure at an early (or ANY) age creates a totally false & inappropriate outlook about sex. It’s a horrible addiction that can be fed all too easily today … in fact, it’s almost impossible to avoid. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 2:00 PM Find…
25. it is ugly, evil stuff. it almost ruined our marriage. we are still working through it. husband has been clean for 2 years now. yay. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 1:32 PM Find…
26. Yes,
Simply put, It all started with just one little joke. I started playing around with masturbation then wanted the high to be higher and found that Porn does that.
Thu, Aug 23, 2012 1:29 PM Find…
27. At age 31, only now have I been able to kick the habbit. Due to porn, I don’t know how to interact with women and yet to have my first girl friend. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 1:20 PM Find…
28. I am a porn addict. With the grace of God, a loving wife , and blocking software, I am doing MUCH better. However, those images are burned into my mind, and it is a demon I will have to actively deal with the rest of my life. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 1:08 PM Find…
29. I first discovered porn at about 13 and within a year I was addicted to veiwing thing on the computer, videos and magazines. this addiction became worse over the years and progressed into different types of porn and interests including homosexuality. After I was married, it became a sex addiction in which I began to meet up with other men (sometime 3-4 a week.) In 2008, I hit rock bottom when I was forcibly raped and entered into sex addiction treatment. I have been sober for 4 years and I am looking for opportunities to help others with similar experiences. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 12:59 PM Find…
30. Starting a relationship with God is the only way for the shackles to break off your hands and feet when it comes to porn addiction. God’s love, grace and mercy are what saved me and He delivered me from my addiction 1 year ago. Once in a while I still struggle with lust, but when I do I tell my friends and pastor about it and I ask God for forgiveness and for Him to clean my heart. Once you have a relationship with Christ, you realize that porn is worthless. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 12:50 PM Find…
31. I’m older so the internet wasn’t an option. My friend took his fathers magazines and showed me. I instantly was drawn into them. I was so young I had no idea how to deal with the emotions I was feeling and it became an addiction. I have done things that I am not proud of because of it. It took time to come to realize the true magnitude of the addiction. My life since then has been a struggle to stay clean. The internet and ease of access has only compounded the problem. After being married and having sons I saw that it wasn’t a personal battle. It has affected my wife and I but she has been there to strengthen me. After discovering my boy had a problem it was devastating. I have maintained a strict firewall in the home and we talk about it. This has given both of us strength to continue. We are far from cured. Unlike drugs, you can’t detox from porn. You can’t unsee what has been seen.I think I heard it best described as “First impressions are lasting impressions”. I saw unrealistic sex so early in life that that has been the bar or expectation I subconsciously have set for my current love life. Knowing this helps but the damage is done. I love my wife but she doesn’t meet my expectations in bed. She is not to fault, my porn addiction is.

I have been clean for quite some time now but I see the triggers all the time. Not acting is the only defense.

There is much much more to my story. I will fight on. I will, I must!

Thu, Aug 23, 2012 12:47 PM Find…
32. I am a woman who has struggled with a pornography addiction. It confused me for a long time. I tried to stop, but couldn’t, then it was no longer confusing, it was scary. I was not sexually active before I was married, and I thought that when I did get married and became sexually active it would not be a problem any more. I was wrong. I finally admitted my problem to my spouse and he was very loving about it. I went to counseling and I’ve been clean for one and a half years. I feel so much better. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 12:30 PM Find…
33. My boyfriend introduced me to it and at first I was very uncomfortable with it and turned it down but after persuasion it became a regular part of our sex life. A few years later my boyfriend became my fiancé and he talked me into working as an online stripper and sex act performer. It completely destroyed me as a person and our relationship. My marriage now is tainted with my dark past and porn addicted partner. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 12:06 PM Find…
34. Exposed to it when I was 5, irregular exposure to softcore pornography until 12, regular hardcore pornography consumer for years, habituated by late high school, saved from it at age 22. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 11:40 AM Find…
35. Friend exposed me as a young girl. As a married woman, found out my hysband was addicted. He has tried to over come for years. Two years he had a salvation experience and has been able to kick it. He is still very tempted and it is hard. We do to great lengths to keep it out of our home and lives. However, his addiction exposed our own dear daughter when she was about 7. For 3 years, she was exposed and didn’t tell us until it was too late. OUr family has been devastated b/c of this evil stuff. My husband is discouraged and hates himself, I hate myself and am always dissatisfies at how I look, and my daughter told me she now struggles with lust. EVIL!!! Thu, Aug 23, 2012 11:37 AM Find…
36. My husband of 26 years went from being a preacher to being addicted to pornography. It has been like hell in my home for about six years now. When I found out, we had been married about 20 years and I didn’t even have a GED. I am now three years into college and I have every intention of divorcing him as soon as I am able to stand on my own. The most tragic part is that we have three precious boys, mostly grown now, who have watched their father go from ‘Super Man’ into someone we hardly recognize anymore. Tragic…. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 11:25 AM Find…
37. I was staying with my friend’s auntie and uncle with my best friend (we were about 12 or 13), they went out and we were left with the big male cousin (about 19). Videos were new and fancy and we were asked if we wanted to watch a film (this was exciting stuff) as most people didn’t have VCRs then.The film was called Pink Champagne as was a pornographic film. However unfortunately for the big cousin we just didn’t understand what was going on at all and then after about half an hour into the film we got bored and left the room.

The cousin panicked and made us promise not to tell his parents, me and my pal just thought he was daft and was a waste of a VCR.
, we didn’t really know it was porn though and it wasn’t until I was older I realised what had happened and I was angry with him!! What a bastard!!

Thu, Aug 23, 2012 11:20 AM Find…
38. Not at this time, but I will in the future. Pornography is an evil that rots the soul. I wish I had never experienced it. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 11:09 AM Find…
39. I am the wife of a man who struggles with pornography. It has almost completely destroyed our marriage, and it has blanketed my children with a world of insecurity, fighting, and darkness. It has sent an angel to the depths of hell, fear and insecurity, no self-esteem, and even to the point of wanting to end my life at times. #1 marriage wrecker. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:55 AM Find…
40. After I was sexually solicited I looked up porn, not knowing what it was. I got addicted from my first view and remained secretly addicted for the next 4 years. Jesus saved my life. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:44 AM Find…
41. I believe child porn and snuff films are bad. But overall I don’t see harm in porn. Humans are sexual beings. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:40 AM Find…
42. I was molested by the age of 3. So I was exposed to real life terrible things. I didn’t have a computer or cable growing up. My parents talked about how terrible porn was. They didn’t know I was being molested at the time. I went to a friends home at the age of 15 and some of the teenaged boys were watching it on VHS. I was angry and left. I continue to pass on the values my parents gave me about porn to my kids. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:39 AM Find…
43. Increasing addiction from beginning until about age 43. Holy spirit met me at my house Friday after work as I was alone without my wife or daughter being home. The message was clear “You’re Done”. I argued, bargained, etc as I was not ready to give it up, but in the end, He won. I gained freedom from porn forever! It is going on 4 years. I now share my story and speak about the downside of porn in many different facets of the users and performers lives. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:37 AM Find…
44. my next big moment was when i found my husband’s stash of magazines. He had a hidden addiction. when i confronted him, he convinced me that it would enhance our sex life, and only a prude would think otherwise. I had not yet had an organism after 3 children and 6 years of marriage so I was at a disadvantage, not knowing that my husband was the problem, not me! I developed almost a competition attitude as he had slept around before marriage and was constantly comparing me to his previous girlfriends that were very promiscuous. We fought about it a lot. I went to my gynecologist and he angrily told me there was nothing wrong with me physically that all i needed was some romance and flowers, etc. I was a very committed Christian and was not going to go out on him, even though I thought about divorce, he convinced me he loved me. my lifelong pastor though was leading a double life for 40 years + and we began to discover this from new friends that went to our church. I became very disillusioned. Meanwhile we took on my pastor’s view of “grace” and my husband and our new couple friends husband started to go to XXX rated movies with our (wives) consent. He talked me into going to one as well. I didn’t especially like it. At any rate the husband of the couple came on to me and I took that opportunity to find out once and for all if there was something wrong with me. Needless to say, what a mess as I had to tell my husband the truth and he eventually blamed himself (although when I first told him, he pointed a gun at me). I hated him for about a year, but we eventually worked it out and were married for 35 years. He didn’t give up his porn though for another 10 years. It finally dawned on him that it was harmful to the women involved and they were someone’s daughter. I have one son now though that has become addicted and had a terrible track record with relationships. I haven’t talked to him about porn. I did when he was little, I asked him at the age of 6 if he had ever seen magazines with naked women in them and he told me his cousin had shown him. His father (my brother) was my husband’s best friend. I think that nephew’s marital problems stem from this. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:28 AM Find…
45. I remember my mother burning a stack of magazines when I was younger, I also read some porn novels in high school. My brothers were voyers, bothering my older sister. My brothers looked at porn and didn’t think anything wrong with it. Some of my brothers acted out the porn, one brother has been arrested for voyerism and exibitionism repeatedly. Another brother was arrested for voyuerism which arrest did lead to his crimes being made public which did lead him to take his own life. Very sad effect porn has had on the family I was raised in. In my family we talk openly about porn but srtill my three sons and my husband when he was younger all have been exposed to porn and have struggled with the habit. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:23 AM Find…
46. A friend’s dad had Playboys hidden in the home. My friend knew about it and showed them to me. A few years later I discovered my own dad had a hidden stash of magazines and videos which I frequently looked through. In high school I was given a computer and internet in my room which became my source for free porn. No one in my family talked about sex or porn. I knew it was wrong but there were no boundaries for me. I was addicted for years. Not till later in marriage was I able to get right with God and start moving out of porn. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:22 AM Find…
47. At first I didn’t get what it was. It just got my heart-rate up and gave me a huge adrenaline buzz. It lasted all of thirty seconds–but that image is still somewhere in my head. I’m pretty good about pushing those out until I can’t remember them any more.
I felt so awful afterwards that in the subsequent weeks it was really easy to avoid. But, as time went on, the appeal of it grew again. The second time I sought it out, and what I found excited me again, but upset me so much that I nearly vomited afterwards. In my teenage years, the appeal of it kept getting stronger and stronger, and my time between seeking it out grew shorter and shorter.
By the time I was 14, I was viewing nude women three times a week. I hated myself, and even on the nights where I wasn’t doing anything shameful, I would stay up until all hours just thinking about what a horrible person I was.
What made matters worse, all my friends at school were girls. I hadn’t really seen any sexually explicit materials, primarily just provokative nudity at that point in time, but I couldn’t look at any of my friends without those images coming to mind.
I fought it and fought it for years, trying to put on newer and stronger filter software, setting limits to try and keep myself safe, but things just kept getting worse and worse.
By the time I was 16, I was into hardcore pornographic movies. The best I could do was to go a full month without any incidents, but I just felt so lonely and isolated from the world that I hated myself more and more. My friends tell me that I was actually popular in some respects at this time, and none of them would’ve guessed that I hated myself so much–least of all guess the reasons for it.
What finally started to break me of my habits took a complete shift in attitude. I was fighting. I was trying so hard not to think about it, to avoid it, that my avoidance was turning into curiosity.
So, I decided that I wanted to be better, but that the best way to address pornography was to just push it as quickly as possible out of my mind. Don’t put thoughts of self-worth in with it, don’t tell yourself “no I’m not gonna think that,” just don’t dwell on it in your head. Don’t address it at all in your mind, just let it flash through your head and out of your thoughts.
I was, in no way, giving up, I just took on a new approach. It was poison, and analyzing and trying to develop cures for a poison still means you need to keep samples of it on hand to study.
Don’t study, don’t feed your curiosity, don’t try to find new strategies to overcome it. Just let it pass through your mind, and don’t focus on any painful or exciting experiences you’ve had in the past. Don’t dwell on it, above all.
Repent, and work with God on the matter, and then just move on. It’s not an easy, nor a short, road to follow, but it gets better and life gets better as you increase your successes with it.
Shortcomings and setbacks happen, the true champions keep picking themselves up and move forward.
Make it 4 years without and incident and any chemical damage done to your brain is gone and you’ll be as healthy as you were before the addiction.
Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:17 AM Find…
48. It stinks when someone close to me finds that stuff ok/artful. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:08 AM Find…
49. I regularly viewed porn and masturbated as a teenager for 4 years. Every time I got an urge to view it I found a way to be alone an afterwords I would be ashamed of myself. When I finally stopped I felt like a better person and I felt like I could be forgiven. The temptations still come even though I am married, but through the atonement of Christ I overcome it Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:06 AM Find…
50. Yes Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:02 AM Find…
51. Porn has ruined my life. I no longer have the trust of my wife, and we are on the brink of Divorce. This is a powerful tool used by the adversary to tear families apart. Seek help regardless of “How Strong” you are to deal with it yourself. If you think that you can do it all on your own, you are wrong. The advisory knows all your weaknesses. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 10:02 AM Find…
52. I was an addict for several years. I made several attempts to quit, but it never stuck. I joined a group of men who were also addicts, many who had overcome the addiction and have been “sober” for a long time, some for many months, some for more than a decade. Next month will mark one year for my sobriety from pornography. I am still tempted all the time, but attending meetings and my re-emerging Catholic faith have helped me to stay away from porn and turn more to God. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 9:59 AM Find…
53. I have been absolutely devasted and crushed by my boyfriend/husband’s addiction. He deceived me into thinking he was fighting & winning his battle with lust so that I would marry him. I love him deeply but regret the timing I chose to marry him & the timing of having a child. I wanted both, but not like this. I’ve have so many dreams for my family that I’ve had to put off or give up completey due to my husband’s addiction with porn, lust & masturbation. We both wanted lots of kids, but I regret already bringing a child into this situation, I don’t want to chance doing it again. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 9:48 AM Find…
54. after the 1st exposure which was quick and pretty harmless, the 2nd exposure was finding a family member’s stash of years of Playboys stacked up in a basement. I binged on them for 2-3 days and believe now that it created brain trauma. My life has never been the same since. Started going to SAA about 20 years later when marriage was in danger. Still struggle occasionally today, 20 more years later, but largely free of it due to persistence in SAA program. Now I can help others with porn addiction. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 9:40 AM Find…
55. Not much to share. It’s just all the exposure I had was accidental and against my wish, which is disturbing because the same might happen to kids!!! Thu, Aug 23, 2012 9:31 AM Find…
56. I was molested as a little girl by my brother. He was on drugs and an avid porn watcher. While it only happened once, that was enough to cause emotional and psychological damage. I started watching porn at around 14 years of age and developed an addicting to masturbating that I still struggle with today. Then when I was twenty and pregnant with my fisrt child, my husband would force me to have sex with him.To him it was ok because we we’re married. What a jerk. I divorced him a year later. I am now married to a wonderful man who at one point in his life was addicted to porn stories. At 21 years of age he had to register as a sex offender because his girlfriend was under age and they we’re caught fooling around in his car. He said it was during that time he realized that porn is not what its made out to be. Fact is porn destroys lives. They make it seem like its ok when it’s not. My son has been exposed to it on the internet and I think it’s such a shame that there is no better laws enforcing better security on the internet. Our computer is protected, but apparently it wasn’t strong enough to keep all pop ups form occurring. We found K9 web protection and it has been great. I can be at ease more when my son is on the computer. More laws need to be enforced for not only our children’s’ protection, but that of our own as well. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 9:25 AM Find…
57. It is an addicting drug. It is aweful and controling. It ruins lives. I was first told how cool it was by my friends. No one was really telling me it was bad then. I did not seek it out, but when it popped up, I did not resist. I am addicted and I hate it every day of my life. I am working to overcome it, but I can tell that it has changed me for the worse forever. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 9:20 AM Find…
58. It has been a long road to recovery. I wish I had had the resources and research available now back then Thu, Aug 23, 2012 9:13 AM Find…
59. I looked up images of of Sailor Moon and after that adds began to pop up and i could watch little clips of people having sex. I was molested so sex wasnt unfamiliar to me I just had never seen anyone else doing it. when I was caught by my little brother i stopped for years until i stumbled upon a blank movie in a pile of kids movie. My little brother and I were intrigued by it and watched for a few minutes but stopped after we felt we might be found out. I got saved at the age of 15 and had been on the straight and narrow for many years im now 23. I recently fell into fornication and began watching porn again as an attempt to educate myself and compete with my boyfriend at the time because he watched constantly and I felt ‘if he can, why cant i?’ and then started my downward spiral. i put up safe browsers on my phone and on my computer to keep away from ant perversion. I occasionally fall to my temptation but I have accountability to prevent secrecy. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 9:07 AM Find…
60. It’s poison that kills (intimate) relationhips. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 9:03 AM Find…
61. I was exposed an a early age. I remember I was young but it still intrigued me and whenever It was available, which was rare, I felt a thrill and desired to look at it. Once I was older, about 13, and understood what it was I sought it out and eventually became addicted. My life throughout much of Jr. High and high school revolved around getting my next fix. I had no self esteem, didnt participate in any extra-curricular activities and had a very misguided view of women. My parents found out years later and helped me get clean. I was clean for 3 years then relapsed about six months ago and am still fighting. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 9:01 AM Find…
62. It has been a struggle all of my life. A problem I took into my marriage and only prayer and spiritual direction has helped. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:55 AM Find…
63. I was addicted to it. I think it seriously distorted my sexuality. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:53 AM Find…
64. Father arrested for child porn, Husband addicted for many years, Friends who use regularly and have big issues with relationships. Family torn apart by fathers arrest. Siblings who are damaged and scarred. I help lead a teen inner city group and use my story to help relate to them and show that a person doesnt have to follow the steps of parents and need not feel shame because of what another has done. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:50 AM Find…
65. With very little direct exposure to porn, I suspect many acquaintances have presumed that I had purposely and secretly viewed some pornography, and would like to teach such people a lesson that Christian men have a mutual duty to maintain their lives in a manner that abstains from the presence of any form of sexual pleasures outside of marriage. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:49 AM Find…
66. It is obvious to tell that men treat me differently when they are heavy users of pornography. I also have members of extended family that have had issues with serious infidelity in marriage and statutory rape that was rooted in a pornography addiction. The culture-wide pornography pandemic affects me personally because of the violence and sexual objectification targeted at women in these works, extended attitudes towards women out through mainstream media and the minds of the men and women around me. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:49 AM Find…
67. My first exposure was when I was 12 and a friend’s brother was watching a movie with an extremely graphic sex scene. It wasn’t until much later, age 17, that I actually sought it out on my own and looked at it on the internet. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:44 AM Find…
68. It was disgusting, confusing, and upsetting. It made me feel like that was what would be expected of me when my body was more developed. It made me equate sex to something dirty. This experience had a very negative impact on my future relationships. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:41 AM Find…
69. No Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:37 AM Find…
70. It’s horrible. The initial exposure for me were unintended, but I still remember them. Later though, it started with the lingerie in the Sunday ads and the Victoria’s Secret cataolgs. Then I developed an obsession with women’s panties (for myself) and one day I realized I was looking at pornography, not just pictures of girls kissing or whatever else I started looking for. It was gradual, and I hate it. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:36 AM Find…
71. Started at young age, exposure from friends house where mom’s boyfriend left x rated magazines out. Now in my 40’s seeking now seeking counseling to help with getting set free from it. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:36 AM Find…
72. my daughter was exposed at the age of 7 and molested by a man two years after i had married him. in another relationship…my last and final… ended after 10 years because of online exposure and print. he made the statement that he liked “them young”…IDIOT! Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:35 AM Find…
73. I was studying criminal law in college and that requires reading cases where the bare facts themselves are so sexual that the descriptions of the crimes are pornographic. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:34 AM Find…
74. It was one of the most deceptively addicting and destructive things that I have ever encountered. And unfortunately in today’s day and age, it’s a difficult addiction to get away from once you’re hooked. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:33 AM Find…
75. Exposed to playboy as early as 5 years old. My brother showed them to me. My brother also showed me my father’s hardcore pornography videos. First exposure to hardcore pornography was around the age of 10. I eventually became a pornography addict and still struggle. Although, through prayer and frequent reception of communion, it is getting better. I believe pornography was a factor in my early interest in sex involving child-on-child abuse, low self esteem, an eating disorder, bad relationships, sex addiction, unhealthy desire for perverse sex and sex with strangers, and abortion. Things did not start to turn around until I was well into my 30s and I still struggle with self-destructive tendencies. Thank God for saving me and helping me overcome. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:33 AM Find…
76. no thanks Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:31 AM Find…
77. Yes Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:30 AM Find…
78. Exposed at 7, kept finding it at home until around 14, sought it out too at home. Became a Christian and stopped looking. Occasional slips here and there but really hate it now. Not a problem anymore. Husband has had an issue. He’s combating it successfully. He hates it too. When our kids are older (3-4ish) we will explain healthy sexuality age-appropriately and continue this conversation until they get married : ) Will will talk about porn and help them navigate today’s culture. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:29 AM Find…
79. I’ve found pornography to be sexually stimulating and enjoyable. It has never been detrimental to myself or my relationships. I have explained to my boys during sex scenes in movies, that it’s 2 people who love each other. Completely sheltering/over-exposing children to ANYTHING will be damaging in the long-term. Early and appropriate education is absolute. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:29 AM Find…
80. Because of early exposure and other bad life circumstances, I found myself addicted to porn. I tried for years to stop but couldn’t be free. One night I humbled myself and got prayed for, I’ve been free since! Over two years now.there was incredible shame involved. I especially detest how it is always presented as a man’s problem. At community college at least 98 percent of people watch porn, if not more, and they don’t think there is anything wrong with it! They grew up with it on their computers and told by their psychology professors that it is normal and healthy! There is NOTHING normal our healthy about it! Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:26 AM Find…
81. One of the greatest events that would shape the direction of my life for the better part of twenty-eight years was when I was about eight. The neighbor girl across the street introduced me to the differences between boys and girls by taking me back into our basement utility room and undressing. Unable to process what I was being shown and ask to do made my life take a turn. From that point on sex and the pursuit of physical pleasure became the way that I would deal with any confusing or painful emotions or experiences in my life. My attempt to mask the pain of my life with physical pleasure led to compulsive sexual behaviors that became seemingly impossible to control. The only thing that seemed to keep my compulsive habits from spiraling out of control was the fact that being under age and in a very small town I had very limited access to adult. A friend exposed me to my first Playboy when I was in fifth grade. I also discovered a box of them in another friend’s garage. When I reached middle school a third friend showed me my first pornographic movie. All these experiences continued to strengthen the sinful sexual behavior that was becoming a pervasive part of my life.After I graduated from high school I attended the University of Sioux Falls, an American Baptist affiliated school in Sioux Falls, SD. Even though I met some of the most influential people in my life at USF, I found myself sinking further into the addictive habit that I had struggled with throughout my childhood years. Being out on my own and in a much larger city with access to a much greater variety of adult oriented material my compulsive sexual behavior became more of an issue. My senior year I finally met the woman that would eventually become my wife. I had told Emily before we were married about my struggle with pornography. She later admitted that she did not know or fully understand what that really entailed and thus did not really have any effect on whether or not she would marry me. I thought that once we were married and I would be able to have sex that would eliminate my desire for pornography. What I came to discover was that after we were married my compulsive behavior not only continued but also grew stronger and began pulling me in directions other than just to view pornography.

For the next twelve years of our marriage I indulged my lust not only through continued viewing of pornography but also into anonymous sexual encounters with numerous women that I would find online. Emily knew that I continued to struggle with pornography due to the fact that I was periodically caught. I had however managed to keep my sexual encounters a secret. I thought that by admitting and trying to deal with my issues with pornography I would somehow also be able to overcome all of my lust issues. I had tried turning part of my struggle over to God but He wanted all of it. I knew this because He would regularly put verses in my mind about needed expose all of the darkness in our lives and bring it all into the light. I would quickly push these thoughts out of my mind convincing myself that I would be able to deal with this myself and that the fact that I had been with other women would never come out.

Eventually God decided it was time to get through to me. He had placed a group of godly men in my life and my family in an understanding and supportive small group. I believe God constructed both groups to uniquely help break through the secrecy of my life as well as to support both my wife and I as we walked through a very painful recovery process. Finally the time was ready and God began to relentlessly call me back to Him. For twenty-eight years I had been hiding my secret life that was out of control from everyone. Knowing that He was calling me to complete confess to my wife and a select group of others all the things that I had done in order to finally be free from my compulsive behavior and my shame-filled secret past, I finally gave in. At the corner of Quivera and Shawnee Mission Parkway in Shawnee, Kansas on my way to work one morning I verbally stated, “OK, God if that is what needs to happen then fine, but You have to do it because I can’t.” That little bit of surrender was all God was looking for.

One week later, on March 29, 2011, with that group of men God broke me. I finally told someone else the degree to which my sexual sin had climbed. Through them, God worked in me and enabled me to share the secrets that had been holding me captive and keeping me away from Him for twenty-eight years. God held both my wife and I together and close to Him as I shared with her the depth to which I had been unfaithful. He supported us in our long and painful journey of recovery by surrounding us with a godly couple and a small group that did not condemn but loved on us when we most needed it. Through the love and support of all of these godly people as well as individual counseling, couples counseling, a Christ centered recovery group and many, many long nights of hard discussions on our couch with my wife, God has been able to restore the respect and trust in our marriage and has allowed us to experience the beautiful oneness of marriage that He designed it to be.

Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:25 AM Find…
82. I know that pornography is generally thought of as a man’s thing. A man’s addiction but women are victims too. Personally, when I’ve come into contact with it, the end result has always been a loss of worth. It makes you feel disgusting and the fact that there are so many that are addicted breaks my heart. I fear for my children and how to talk with them about it and when. They are innocent and I hate to have to taint them with the knowledge that something like this exists in the world. It is a sad and real part of our society that just shouldn’t be. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:23 AM Find…
83. I’ve been watching pornography for 20 years now. And I’m only 24. I masturbate with sand paper. I once got my dick stuck in a vacuum cleaner. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:22 AM Find…
84. my mom had porn. In the form of stories. I would read them. Forget the name of the magazine. Then when I was 14 and 15 my boyfriend watched porn. After I got married my husband talked me into watching porn. Then i decided watching it was not what I should be doing. My husband still did it was a big issue. I found out he was and had been addicted to it since before we were married. It all most broke up our marriage. Even now I know he still struggles with it. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:22 AM Find…
85. makes jill do a hell of alot better job Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:21 AM Find…
86. Ruined my moms marriage. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:20 AM Find…
87. It’s addicting and I spent too many years consumed by it. But now I’ve not viewed it in over 2 years. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:19 AM Find…
88. Pornography is fine. Why do you want to tell me what I can and can’t do? Everyone is free to express themselves, and the whores in porn could get another job but theyre to lazy so they deserve the abusement Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:19 AM Find…
89. I married a porn and sex addict unknowingly. I saw his porn, but since I grew up knowing men having it, it didn’t seem like such a big deal at the time. Now that my world has been flipped upside down I know better! Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:18 AM Find…
90. My husband has been a porn addict since he was about 12. He’s finally gotten good professional help in the last year and things have gotten a LOT better… but we’ve still got a long way to go. I can’t begin to express how porn has ripped apart our marriage… luckily our faith has gotten us through, but it hasn’t been easy. Thank you for all you do to teach people about the harm of pornography. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:18 AM Find…
91. yes Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:17 AM Find…
92. Pornography was the result of the end of my first marriage. It led to affairs and finally he left. We had three children. Pornography destroys people and marriages. I will do everything I can to protect my family from this terrible addiction. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:16 AM Find…
93. its very exhilerating, but at the same time I finally see its wrong, though I do not suffer from an addiction to it. My husband does, and it really hurts our marriage Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:14 AM Find…
94. I was at a friends house and we were playing in her brothers room. she opened one of the nightstand drawers and found several hardcore porn magazines. It made me feel very uncomfortable and knew not to keep looking. To this date I think of how traumatic that exprience was and still is to me Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:13 AM Find…
95. Its the reason im still alive! pornography Saved my marriage! Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:13 AM Find…
96. I found Playboy magazines in my home when I was 12. Then I used to look up some websites out of curiosity but I never got addicted or hooked. Years later I had a girl friend who was addicted to porn and would try to show it to me but I couldn’t handle looking at it. I have also been to one porn store because of her but it made me want to puke! Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:12 AM Find…
97. Basically it popped up online. I think I was on Pinterest, and I clicked on a link and the link popped up some porn. And I was shocked and dismayed and exited out immediately. Despicable stuff. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:12 AM Find…
98. It was the first reading material I was given and now i know I use it to shame myself hopingGod will hate me because I cant or wottn leave porn alone Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:11 AM Find…
99. My exposure at such an early age warped and changed my view and treatment of women. It has negatively influenced my past relationships, and my freedom from the tyranny with which it wielded over my life was destroyed only through redemptive relationships with men and women in trusted Christian fellowship groups. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:08 AM Find…
100. it has been a recent problem in our marriage. my wife was found sexting an old high school boy friend who was married who started sexting to her from lasvegas almost ruined us we went through seperaration later on months ago, but i had sought to get even unfortunatley by doing the same on computer, but confessed to my wife and repented thank God Jesus has restored our marriage. Now with 3 boys in the house i need to budge in a porn blocker, but don’t have the money yet, thank you Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:07 AM Find…
101. It’s very harmful it caused me to do things that I’d never dream I’d do. It took me to a darkness that took 26 years to see the damage it had caused. I’m over the addiction and will never allow myself to do that ever again! Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:07 AM Find…
102. My brother had a VHS that was labeled as something different, so when I popped it in, I discovered it. I had a problem with pornography for a couple months, but decided to shut it out. I haven’t touched it since and believe each person has the power to make good decisions despite powerful temptations. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:06 AM Find…
103. Its harmful to your family, it distorts your views on everything, and it damages your mind. Nothing good about it Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:03 AM Find…
104. I would love to learn how to install filters on smartphones, computers and ipods. Thu, Aug 23, 2012 8:03 AM Find…
105. constant battle Wed, Aug 22, 2012 6:41 PM Find…
106. I obtained what might now be termed girly magazines from about age 12. After masturbating to them, I tended to tear them up, not collect them. That is because I was going to (RC) confession, and that was part of my “firm purpose of amendment”. I kept up this practice for many years. Nowadays I am mostly “porn free”. I do see it as an evil. Wed, Aug 22, 2012 6:27 AM Find…
107. yes Tue, Aug 21, 2012 3:40 PM Find…
108. I picked up some book at the local bookstore. I was 11 or twelve. It was meant for young teenagers I thought. It turns out there were some pretty unwholesome things in that book. A friend of mine saw me with that book and I immediately stuffed it back on the shelf and walked away. I knew better…but maybe it wasn’t so bad. That book was on my mind off an on for over 6 years. one night, when I was 17, I found myself on the computer yet again with the strong desire to find a way to finish that book. 6 six years, I had not looked for anything else. I knew it was wrong and I should not start anything new. That night I had the courage to say no one more time, this time not because I couldn’t get my hands on it, but because I didn’t want to want this in my life anymore. Since then I had forgotten that struggle, had some new ones, and made good and bad choices. We have to keep making course corrections in life. Each time makes us stronger. I am grateful that time I made the right decision all by myself for myself. Now that I remember it I will try harder again. Mon, Aug 20, 2012 9:42 PM Find…
109. My husband is a former adict. I had no idea how serious porn could be until I met him. It is dangerous. I thank God he has broken free and has currently been ‘porn-free’ for almost a year, but it is a routine battle he must fight. I highly recommend the book “Every Man’s Battle” for every man, and for every woman who wants to understand the battle. Mon, Aug 20, 2012 6:42 PM Find…
110. My brother pestered me to do the things in the pictures for about a year and a half. He promised me that I would be popular if I let him practice with me. After a few more months of pressure – I gave in. It was disgusting. I was scared but really wanted to be in the cool crowd. My brother began offering me to his friends. I became pregnant at 13.
The day my mother died I asked my brother if he needed to clear up what had happened between us. He said that we were innocent kids – just experimenting. No harm, no foul.
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 4:19 PM Find…
111. it destroyed my family because my dad was addicted to it. Now my parents are divorced and very bitter to each other. Mon, Aug 20, 2012 1:35 PM Find…
112. I was looking at someone’s computer, only to discover they had obscene things on it. It was really hurtful and insulting, especially since I thought I was being fulfilling to them. Mon, Aug 20, 2012 11:22 AM Find…
113. My dad had pornographic posters of women in the garage and magazines in the house. Then, I got into chat rooms at 12 years old late at night. Kids at middle school showed me how to dial erotic phone numbers at the school payphone. Then I had a female roommate addicted to porn. I married a man who aspired to be a pornographer. His addiction, no value for women and affairs destroyed our marriage after 10 years of refusing to get help. I am free from the hurt of that now. Thanks to Jesus. Mon, Aug 20, 2012 9:55 AM Find…
114. Pornorgraphy made me feel empty and disconnected from others. For much of my adolescence and adult life, I couldn’t connect to others, especially if they were women. I couldn’t understand why my relationships never lasted very long, why other men around me were so much more confident among others, why I always missed social cues that others seemed to get.
Now, years after I first admitted to myself my addiction to pornography, I am a recovering adult with a wife and two beautiful children. I’m able to empathize with others, have selfless interest in other human beings regardless of their physical attractiveness. I recognize women as being truly equal and valuable in their own right. I have awoken from a terrible nightmare to see a beautiful day!
Mon, Aug 20, 2012 9:53 AM Find…
115. My spouse has stru ggled with pornography, it has completely changed our marriage, and is a continous point of contention. I was first exposed to it when it popped on on the computer, because this time, he hadn’t coverted his track this time. We had sought out counseling, but it is still a struggle for him and a heart break to me. Sun, Aug 19, 2012 9:55 PM Find…
116. no Sun, Aug 19, 2012 11:09 AM Find…
117. y Sun, Aug 19, 2012 6:07 AM Find…
118. I was hooked for over 8 years. It took over my life. I’m still struggeling, but I’m winning this war. Porn is the worst enemy in my life, because it is always there and it knows all my weaknesses. It takes over my body and mind. It is a terrorist that targets my school and my friends by screwing with my grades and severing my bonds. Porn is a liar that mixes truth with lies and the nutritional with the poisonous. It is an deadly untraceable drug that is free and widely available. But we are strong. We can win. We stand not alone but together. With truth, trust, faith, hope and love we will prevail! Sun, Aug 19, 2012 5:46 AM Find…
119. My parents did not talk to me about sex and I wanted to learn about it. I never knew about the devastatng effects of porn until much later in life when I discovered that my husband had an addiction to pornography. Through the grace of God he has found deliverance. Sun, Aug 19, 2012 3:08 AM Find…
120. I struggled with it for several years. I later became a Christian and was set free from this addiction. The power of God is greater than ANY addiction. Sun, Aug 19, 2012 2:41 AM Find…
121. I sometime have temptation to watch porn. I try to stop but I fail. Sun, Aug 19, 2012 1:19 AM Find…
122. My daughter has recently left her husband because of a porn adiction Sat, Aug 18, 2012 10:36 PM Find…
123. my children are adults but I do have grandchildren. My oldest one has had porn pop up on his computer since he was 8! I hate what is happening on the internet, TV and movies – I rarely watch movies or TV because of the soft porn which is quickly becoming acceptable as the “norm”. We have a serious problem and no one except you and a few other agencies/groups such as yours, is talking about it. It really troubles me that churches don’t address the issues either. Sat, Aug 18, 2012 8:48 PM Find…
124. Husband uses Sat, Aug 18, 2012 8:19 PM Find…
125. Sexually abuse by baby sitter then discovered porn and found it a gateway to other sexual behaviors. After 38 years sought treatment for 6 weeks and have been free and clear for 8 years from all sexual acting out. How did I do it ? I helped others that came after me seeking help to find freedom. Sat, Aug 18, 2012 5:22 PM Find…
126. My marriage fell apart due to my spouses addiction to pornography. It truly destroys families! I have witnessed it firsthand. I did not know this was a problem until after the divorce. Only then did i learn about the fact that it was an addiction and the real problem, not my own failures to live up to my spouses fantasized expectations. If i would have know the facts sooner, then perhaps our marriage could have been saved. Thanks to society, we are told this is ‘normal’ for people to do. Now i understand that it is anything but normal. Thank you for your ministry. After over 35 years i can finally express the truth which i have never done until this moment. Thank you for the chance to do so. Sat, Aug 18, 2012 2:20 PM Find…
127. I sought out photos of men and quickly became hooked so that I was looking at it on 2 consecutive days, by the third day, I was honest with myself that I was getting strongly hooked, nearly addicted, and that I didn’t feel good enough about myself, and that was enough for me to quit cold turkey that day so haven’t gone back to it or been addicted since. Sat, Aug 18, 2012 7:04 AM Find…
128. If I could attach the 20 page story/memoir I have that explains this in great detail, I would love to, however, I know that it won’t fit into this little box provided here.
Long story short; I am a 19 year old female that started looking up pornography at 10-11 years old and finally conquered that terrible addiction shortly after my 19th birthday. It was a long, drawn-out battle that definitely hindered my first two relationships and fucked me over in all ways possible (emotionally, mentally, and spiritually). However, after living an entire life being an agnostic/atheist, I have since the beginning of this year discovered God and relish in all of the Love that He has for me. Ever since my conversion, I have finally stopped watching pornography for good. Like I said, this is an extremely watered down version of my life story. I would provide you my contact information but I have no idea what you guys would do with it and how much you desire to hear the details of my story (especially since we’re supposed to be anonymous). Please know that I truly would *love* to share my experiences with people, however, for the sake of this survey, I have to stay anonymous. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience…
Fri, Aug 17, 2012 9:38 PM Find…
129. IT IS GR8 Fri, Aug 17, 2012 9:33 PM Find…
130. I have come across pornography at a young age, while I was playing as a kid and found some obscene magazine that had been thrown on a public lot. I was both disturbed and impressed with the pictures and it imprinted a curiosity for such material in my mind and soul.As a teenager, I openly discussed the subject with friends, currently joked about it and, since the VHS era was on the rise, it was not rare for us to rent an x-rated movie along with ‘normal stuff’ during sleepovers. I was however traumatized when, around the age of 15, I have discovered that type of material hidden in my parents’bedroom.

As a young adult, porn movies became a ‘normal’ entertainment on some romantic occasions with my wife. Unsurprisingly, the coming of the Internet in the mid 90s made things even worst, when peeping at such obscenities became so easy and private. I became litterally addicted to it and felt it was ‘ok’ since my wife vaguely knew about it and showed some appreciation herself. I came to realize what a major issue it was when I ended up watching online movies and downloading thousands & thousands of x-rated pictures as soon as I had a spare moment, even neglecting my family and job to watch more of it: it had become a lifestyle and a very harmful habit. When even your intimate intercourses with your spouse are mainly ‘spiced up’ with discussions that sounds as if they were borrowed from those atrocious productions, things are out of control. The worst is that, at such a point, it becomes part of what you are and it destroys all the beauty of matrimonial intimacy.

I only could start fighting it when I got back to my spiritual roots as a catholic, realizing how far from Salvation I ended up being. Even though I have some moments of hesitations (even some very ‘softcore’ images in everyday ‘publicity’ can lead into temptation), I was able to recover thanks to the graces obtained through prayer, mostly the Holy Rosary. That type of fight is never a total victory and one cannot proclaim that he or she won the battle: it is a constant struggle which needs to be placed in Gods hands, with piety and humility.

Fri, Aug 17, 2012 3:01 PM Find…
131. FYI, we will be getting filtering software soon. Our daughter’s school is making computers available to the students this year on the condition that we subscribe to Covenant Eyes. Fri, Aug 17, 2012 11:35 AM Find…
132. not at this time Fri, Aug 17, 2012 9:46 AM Find…
133. I nearly ruined my life what else is there to say. I remember telling friends in first grade I had already seen pornography. I was instantly addicted and sought out more wherever I could find it. through highschool I felt strange and had no desire to interact with the opposite sex, i just wanted more porn even though I was becoming more religious I still wanted more and began looking at more and more devient material. eventually After I met my wife I started wanting her to act out what I had seen in the porn, luckily she threw me for a loop and vowed never to look at pornography again, and expected the same of me. I had no idea the harm it was causing but as I have given it up my relationship with my wife as well as my ability to relate to other women is vastly improved. Fri, Aug 17, 2012 9:37 AM Find…
134. I was exposed to pornography first as a small child and I was continuously exposed to it all the way into my teenage years. I rarely sought it out, I didn’t need to. My father openly watched it when my mom wasn’t home and always masturbated to it where anyone could see him. I knew it was wrong and didn’t want it in my life but I found that I was drawn to it. It wasn’t until after I was married that I broke my addiction to it. Fri, Aug 17, 2012 8:32 AM Find…
135. I have not personally been drawn to view porn, however, when in public libraries, I have often found men viewing pron openly and have confronted them on it. Fri, Aug 17, 2012 7:35 AM Find…
136. All my sisters were aware of the magazines that our dad bought when we went to the newstand. They were located on the opposite side of the store so Dad went to the right, while we went to the left to search for comics. For me, I new the magazines were there, but they were not tempting to me.As an adult, my father has entered the end stages of his life. He was only in his fifties when my mother died, and he started through a series of girlfriends. They would move into his home, but the relationships always fell apart. In all those years, my father never had videos or access to online porn, but instead continued buying his magazines. Until one woman moved in and brought all of her sexual toys and videos with her. Within a matter of years, my father became addicted to newer, more exciting methods of arousal. The couple would travel out of state to purchase new items and videos. But the Woman was also emotionally abusive toward my father and a divorce was in sight. As we moved all of her items out of my father’s home, my sisters and I came across the videos and toys that were in the home. My father wanted my older sister to deal with the toys in the bottom drawer, and he asked that I pack up the videos to go with his ex-wife’s belongings “except a few, I like a few of them.” I saw the opportunity to explain that it would be like finding drugs in my sister’s room and instead of destroying them, you allowed her to pass them on to someone else. We destroyed all the videos. It was heartbreaking for me to discover that our trips to the newstand when I was a kid, led to a 70+ year old man keeping toys, videos, and even admitting to multiple people being present during the videos. It is sad when a 45 year old woman confronts her father over such issues and seeing how it has impacted his life. Today my father is in a nursing home, blind from diabetes and legally deaf but is notorious for being too touchy with the nurses and using sexual language to tease them. A habit that started for him when he was about 12 is still haunting him in the nursing home. Fri, Aug 17, 2012 6:14 AM Find…
137. We do not approve of pornography. Fri, Aug 17, 2012 6:13 AM Find…
138. When I was 12 I was surfing around the web for content on this cartoon I liked. A porn pop up appeared and no matter how many times I tried to leave it, it would tell me that I “must click yes”. So basically, some porn sight was trying to force a minor into viewing sexual conduct against their will. Fri, Aug 17, 2012 5:42 AM Find…
139. Pornography is more mind altering then any drug I have ever abused. It warps ones perspective on what is right and healthy in a relationship, and the images never leave one’s mind. I have changed my life for the better and really tried to clean up my act, and go far out of my way to avoid any aspect of pornography. Unfortunately, the images that I used to look at are still stuck in my head and they still have a lingering influence on my thoughts. I wish that I had some sort of mind bleach so that I could purge that filth out of my mind. I wish I had understood at a younger age how harmful this filth is. Pornography has had such a powerful impact on my life. I try to warn others as to how mind altering and damaging porn really is, but no one wants to listen. We treat sex like a sport and the sacred union of man and woman is debased to the point of animal lust. Fri, Aug 17, 2012 4:47 AM Find…
140. I have not personally sought out porn, but because my parents were foster parents I have observed several damaged children and I have come to believe that exposure to sex or sexual ideas at too young of age does permanant damage to a childs development. For example if a child is sexually abused they seem to have one of three reactions or symptoms that affect them most of there life . Some become fridgid, others become promiscuous and those violated by the same sex often become homosexual. I believe porn also damages a childs development and may also effect their sexual development adversly. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:24 PM Find…
141. You may think it’s harmless, but it damages everyone involved: the porn stars, the people who watch it, and the families and loved ones of the people who watch it.It may be exciting, but it slowly and subtly makes the rest of life more boring. It doesn’t just desensitize people to sexual things, it becomes a focus that begins to take priority over things that should matter in life.

I watched a man slowly over the years slip into a depression that only porn could alleviate. There were days when he didn’t even get out of bed – just rolled over in the morning to watch some porn to get his heart rate up enough to feel like he wasn’t going to die.

Every little tiny thing he did seemed like a huge accomplishment – his focus had been trained to narrow until only the finest detail of a single task would bring satisfaction. He took two years to remodel a bathroom that would have taken me a day or two. His brain had become trained to function in only one way. Imagine a very lazy obsessive compulsive disorder accompanied by sexual perversion.

Pornography oozed out of everything he said or did – not that he was open about pornography, but that everyone around him could tell what was on his mind by the way he talked, what he focused on, and the things he did. Even his grandchildren began noticing that they felt icky when grandpa talked to them.

It got so bad that his children stopped bringing by the grandchildren, and his wife nearly left him. He had started as a dedicated father, motivated military man, and a faithful member of his church to a failure to his wife and children, an alien to his grand children. He even developed type-2 diabetes that may have been preventable had he gone out and worked and exercised.

He ended up becoming a secret nighttime transvestite who loved to watch homosexual and transvestite porn. He would demand odd sexual favors from his wife – things that really hurt her feelings. He had unrealistic expectations placed on her – expecting her to perform like the dirtiest transvestite porn stars. He became thoroughly convinced that she was worthless if she didnt perform and that he could go out and find better (and the ideal was now a brain-dead transvestite with absolutely no inhibitions and a severe drug addiction – if only he could find one).

It sickened everyone around him to see him in such a state. A once powerful role model to everyone around him – now a fat, lazy, addicted, psychologically destroyed waste.

Watching this guy made me reflect on my own situation and potential with porn. And the funny thing is that you know you have a problem because you shouldn’t do it, and you can’t help it. You know that you don’t want to get caught being trashy. But you don’t realize all of the damage it causes until after you’ve gone cold turkey for awhile, and have assessed your current situation.

Just like you can’t expect to be able to do all of those cool moves on the Matrix, and you can’t expect that the stuff in the video game Halo is even possible, you can’t expect your fantasies to come true in the sex movies either without becoming severely illusioned and losing everything else in life that’s good. In religion, they refer to it as the chains of sin or selling your soul.

One positive thing about all of this is that the guy I was talking about is that he’s on the road to recovery. Not through a 12-step program, but largely on his own. It probably helped that his computer became outdated, and eventually broke. He also found a fantasy that was worth pursuing. He recently said, “Do you realize that there were days where I didn’t even get out of bed? I was really messed up.” He has lost about 80 lbs and has about another 80-100 to go until he’s back into the 190-220 range. He’s getting out and is being more productive. His grandchildren, children and wife still suffer, but are also tolerant as he improves. Who knows how long it will take him to repair himself or if he can ever completely repair himself.

Sometimes he probably wishes he could slide back a little instead of constantly trekking up that steep and arduous hill to recovery, but he’s doing it. And in the process of doing it, he’s building up his tolerance to hardship and his will power to avoid all addictive behaviors.

I think one of the biggest deterrents is knowing how something so unimportant and simple can make people so completely dependent and can rule their life. One expert on pornography once said that it’s wrong to compare porn to a drug addiction – instead, drug addiction should be compared to porn addiction.

Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:07 PM Find…
142. Came across a Playboy when I was 8. Again at an older cousins house at 10. Then I was fascinated. I’m over 50 and still struggle. I’d fight it just to protect myself from its snares! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 8:41 PM Find…
143. I was, up until today, in a relationship with the man I thought I was going to marry. The first year was absolutely wonderful, the next 2 were pretty good, but started to see some “little things” that made me question things in regards to other women. 2 years ago, I found out that he was addicted to porn and masterbation. We talked, we both cried, and he admitted to having a problem with it and that his previous marriage of 10 years ended because of the addiction as well. He said that he needed help and I decided that I would stand by him and be as supportive as I could. I do love him and other than the addiction we get along amazingly well. He is my best friend, so I am losing both my lover and my best friend because of this addiction that runs his life. He has been “attempting” recovery for the past 2 years, but it has been a horrible roller coaster of slips and relapses with promises of getting better and doing “whatever it takes” to get there. All of the lies and deceit has finally taken its toll and I can no longer stay as it has thrown me into a horrible pit of despair and depression. My self esteem has taken such a hit with this as I feel as though I am in competition with every woman on the face of the planet. It breaks my heart to realize that the life that we have lived together has been a lie. The man I fell in love with doesn’t exist because he has been living a dual life–one that he portrays outwardly and the darker porn addicted soul that he hides. It is horrible to know that all of the memories I have with him are tainted by this and that I trusted the man that I thought I was going to live the rest of my life with only to find out that it was all a lie. It is heart wrenching to allow yourself to be completely vulnerable with someone, only to find out that they aren’t who you thought they were. It is almost like being raped…but it is a drawn out process that slowly tears you down. It wasn’t a 1 time event…it happened over and over and over…every lie…every time he made me feel bad because my gut would tell me that something was wrong–he just couldn’t believe that I didn’t trust him? I was always in the wrong and it was my fault that we were arguing. Classic case of deflecting to get the attention off of him. He took a part of me that I will never get back. I have tried for 2 years hoping that he would want it bad enough to put in the effort and heartache and pain to look inside himself and overcome the addiction. Unfortunately, he’s not there yet and may never get there. All I know right now is that I have to move on with my life and get my life back together. I want to feel joy. I want to be able to watch tv, listen to the radio, go out to eat, or just go anywhere in public without feeling like I am slapped in the face with all of the pornographic images that are everywhere. They are a horrible reminder of what the last 5 years have been like. It is a reminder of what he did to me and a reminder of the things that I know he looked at because it made him feel good. Deep down, I think he is a good man, but if he doesn’t get this under control, I am terrified where it could take him. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 8:00 PM Find…
144. It supported my already acquired habits of masturbation, lust. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 7:46 PM Find…
145. I was abused by my spouse sexually and physically because of porn we are now divorced and I fight daily to shield my sons from pornography. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 7:44 PM Find…
146. Growing up with 4 girls has made me sensitive to how media and culture has become overly sexualized. Because of my background I never sought out porn, but sadly I have learned that I am often the exception when compared to my peers on this issue. In order to keep myself form falling into the porn trap I enact the parental controls on my tv and computer so that I don’t “accidentally” come across anything wicked. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 7:39 PM Find…
147. I have always had zero tolerance for pornography. When I see any sign of it, I speak out LOUDLY and let everybody know my stance. It is a tool of Satan. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 7:31 PM Find…
148. after exposure I became hooked for till parents caught me at 12 then kept trying to find it and then that brought me to an addiction to masturbation because of the porn . I hate it and wish I had never started and don’t want anyone to go through it and how it destroys your mind and how you think of women and view them as sex objects. Stop it from happening to anyone else please! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 7:20 PM Find…
149. I saw porn at a young age, viewed it until I was 16, when I truly was saved by God’s grace and His grace alone, and I haven’t viewed it since. I am now working to set up a Fight The New Drug Chapter in my hometown of Palatine, IL. I love what this organization does. I support you guys, FTND, XXXChurch, and Shelley Lubben’s efforts. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 7:17 PM Find…
150. I have been fighting it for 10 years, with a failure of self-control happening now and again. I am merely glad that God is always willing to forgive me. I will not give up. I will be free of the addiction. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 6:27 PM Find…
151. mine it was too tame to be of value??
a true romance magazine in the 40’s or 50’s
Thu, Aug 16, 2012 6:11 PM Find…
152. I was first introduced to pornography when I was 6 years old. I was over at my grandparents house and my uncle still lived at home with them. He had a massive porn stash and viewed it all day long. He shared it with my brother and me when my older brother first started asking about girls. He continued to show it to us every time we visited until I was almost 14. I have been addicted,to pornography since I was little. I am now 31. When I was in high school I just wanted to be with girls and didn’t care too much about all the relationship stuff. That behavior continued until I renewed my faith in Christ. Once that happened I still wasn’t out of the hole of pornography yet, nor the consequences for sexual behaviors. I met an amazing woman whom I married and have been married to for almost ten years, but shortly after we began dating and while I was still at the beginning of a much more Christian centered life I was sent to jail. I went to jail because of the girls I fooled around with and did not care to know all about her turned out to be a minor when I was in my early twenties. My wife lovingly supported and continued loving even thought we weren’t married at the time. I still battle with urges to view pornography and sometimes I slip. Pornography is way more addicting than any drug I have tried or drink I have drunken. I am thankful to my savior for making it possible for me to be forgiven for my transgressions. The fact of the matter is porn is a sham. It makes a mockery of the sanctity that is the sexual relationship between a man and a woman. It ruins views of the opposite sex and makes young men and women use on another for physical means only. If you are addicted there is help and if you are stuck in the “business” there are ways out. Respect yourselves and others by not viewing or supporting the porn industry. It ruins lives. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 6:07 PM Find…
153. Four years ago I discovered my husband of 18 years pornography use. He claims he had been looking at pornography on the internet for the previous 8 years. We are still together but I have Post Traumatic Stress and still don’t trust him though he claims he doesn’t use porn any more. I haven’t discovered any for a long time. I lost 40 pounds and am still recovering. My daughter has also been detrimentally affected by the fighting between me and my husband and the instability of our marriage over the past four years. He denies that pornography is harmful but willingly gave it up. He is not in any recovery program and denies he ever had a problem. He finds emotional intimacy terrifying. He is an educated middle aged man who comes from an abusive background. My life changed that day I discovered the porn. I am now a volunteer who educates college students about healthy sexual relationships. Am am an anti-porn activist and a radical feminist. I am politically liberal in most things except porn. I am deeply spiritual rather than religious. My husband is an atheist. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 6:04 PM Find…
154. Early exposure warped my sexual behaviour, to the point where I was sexually active with others of my own age from age 11 and have not been able to form a sexual identity of my own hat has not been hijacked by early porn exposure Thu, Aug 16, 2012 5:50 PM Find…
155. Interesting that the boy relatives were purposely introduced to pornography and that way of looking at all females by the adult uncles, like it was a right of passage. Did anyone stop to think how all of this effected the girl relatives (and adult woman) in the family? So sad. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 5:45 PM Find…
156. First saw it at age 11. Addiction started when I got a MySpace account – age 15. I got friends who I started to look at it with. Masturbation started when I was looking at it for such an extended amount of time that I just….climaxed. The feeling was very…addictive. And then everything went downhill. I barely realized that what I was doing was wrong – and I didn’t understand how destructive it was at all. I started to turn to the Lord… But eventually, looking at porn and masturbating became so normal to me. And repenting of it to the Lord felt….just like masturbation… Empty. I wasn’t changing and I was only hurting myself. …it took a very good friend to show me a lot of love and beauty in life out of that slime I was living in to change my ways. I made goals, talked to my bishop, started to always have a prayer in my heart, and I eventually served an LDS full time mission. There have been slip ups after my mission, yes. However… I know I am an addict. That will never change. And I know how to keep it out of my life. I know what I did wrong, and I promised the Lord that I would never do it again and do my best to avoid those things which give me unclean thoughts. Because of these experiences, I respect woman a lot more, and understand the sacredness of their bodies – and MY body. :) I love Christ. He has never given up on me. The best way to help others is to get them to know it is wrong, by educating them, then giving them as much love as they will accept. :) Thu, Aug 16, 2012 5:43 PM Find…
157. It has hurt three of my brothers. I know at least two of them still struggle with it. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 5:32 PM Find…
158. Saw part of a bad movie at a hotel, with sleeping family in the room. Had to work hard putting the image of my innocent children in my head whenever that would pop up. Then found out husband looks at it every business trip. We had a great falling out last year and after church discipline and classes is doing better. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 5:31 PM Find…
159. I was first exposed to pornography at a friend’s house (we were often unsupervised over there) when I was 11 yrs old. 20+ yrs later I’m addicted and don’t know if I’ll ever be able to overcome it and get married. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 5:01 PM Find…
160. it degrade and insult human person Thu, Aug 16, 2012 4:58 PM Find…
161. I was exposed to Porn at a very young age, I remember that very first image with surprising detail. I’ve struggled with this problem my whole life, hating myself everyday. My parents punished me harshly, not truly understanding that I needed help, not punishment. I learned to hide it and cover my tracks. My exwife was disgusted just to learn that I’d had an addiction to Porn, and things progressively got worse because she only pushed me away and hated me for my problem. It is only now, with my girlfriend who helps me everyday with my problem, accepting that it is an addiction and that I need her support. Without her I would still struggle with Porn much more then I do. It is with help and support that you can overcome Porn, not hate and misunderstanding of it. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 4:51 PM Find…
162. It started innocently enough (so I thought) just out of curiosity. As an adolescent boy, I think it’s normal to wonder how all of that looks and works. Downloading porn via file sharing software quickly became a mild addiction up until I left for college. I went to school at a military university which had the ability to track web usage. My addiction continued and worsened. I hit rock bottom one morning when I turned on my computer and saw I had been blocked from the network. I was greeted at the door by my military supervisor who had been made aware of my internet activities. It became very real very quickly how easily my military career aspirations could be wiped out at the hands of an online porn addiction. I agreed to seek counseling in lieu of punishment and praise the Lord have been porn free ever since. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 4:29 PM Find…
163. My husband is addicted to pornography and has been for almost ten years now. In the past four years he spent $100,000 on pornography and lied about it for years.He become completely disinterested in sex with me. And eventually stopped talking to me and doing things with me all together. When I was pregnant with my second I couldnt take anymore and moved back home with my mom. We have been separated for a year and a half now. He still spends the majority of his money on porn and sends little in comparison for me to take care of our two children. I know he is battling with depression and hates that he does this, but he refuses to seek help. I am in constant prayer for guidance for our situation; should I stay or go.
I believe pornography is wrong in its very existence. The more I learn how women and children are forced into pornography I am disgusted! The more I personally feel the affects of it I realize how much it destroys.
I lean on God and trust in his overall plan. I realize we all fall short. Unfortunately this is devastating.
Thu, Aug 16, 2012 3:48 PM Find…
164. I haven’t really watched or seen any – the brief ones were in highschool for about 3 seconds or so. If and when I there will be an experience, with our kids yes I will share. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 3:47 PM Find…
165. I wish I would have never seen pornography because the images I have seen pop in my mind from time to time which tempt me to want to watch more pornography. And, it has caused my mind not to be as pure as it could have been if I wouldn’t have seen pornography. But, Thanks to Jesus Christ, God, and with His help, I conquer the temptation to watch pornography! Father God, Thank You for Your word showing me that pornography is wrong. Thank You, Holy Spirit, for convicting me of and telling me in my heart, mind, and soul that pornography is wrong. Thank You for showing me the truth. Thank You for helping me to keep from watching pornography. In the name of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Amen! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 3:39 PM Find…
166. Have had no experience with porn. This is a strange survey and I’m not sure why I receive these emails. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 3:18 PM Find…
167. I am a porn addict. Since 2001. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 3:10 PM Find…
168. Porn almost destroyed our marriage. Porn hurt my life for a long time and was a main cause of my anorexia and low self image and my own addictions. Porn has hurt almost every person in my family at some time or another. It must be stopped! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 3:00 PM Find…
169. I am a woman who was a sex/porn addict. I started as a young child as it was introduced to me and it awakened desires. I had over 40 years of off and on struggle with this until I totally caved in to it for several years and was headlong into a life of addiction. Now, I have been free of sex and porn addiction for 8 years and have a ministry to other women. this is not only a man’s problem. It is men, women and very sadly, children. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 2:48 PM Find…
170. Brother and nephew were addicted. They have had counseling and have been clean for some time now. It was a horrible time for the entire family Thu, Aug 16, 2012 2:42 PM Find…
171. It is pure evil and will take over your life, enslaving you before you know it! It has haunted me over half my life and I fight it everyday. Only the Grace of God permits me to be victorious against it. It caused me to hurt many people, fall away from my faith, engage in pre-marital sex, hook-ups, seek out group sex, hire prostitutes all while it promised to fill the void it really was causing. If I could do it over again this is the ONE THING I would change! I have harmed my wife by not saving myself for her alone, I have sinned against God and my fellow man. This is a great evil in the world. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 2:26 PM Find…
172. I wish my parents would have talked about it with me- maybe I would have known to turn off the movie I found or say no to my friend who showed me a magazine. I was able to get much more access once we got the internet and I was heavily addicted to pornography for about ten years. Luckily I have a great church support where I was able to go talk to someone and move past it. It has been such a struggle in my life. Even when I thought I was done with it I viewed it a handful of other times. I hate what it has done to my thoughts and sex life. Since I’m so against pornography now, I feel so inadequete when intimate with my husband. Sometimes I almost feel like I shouldn’t be making love because it’s what I was viewing and addicted to- so it feels wrong. But I know that it is such a wonderful way for my husband and I to be one and stay so close. I recommend reading a very short book titled: Of souls, symbols, and sacraments- it explains (from a christian point of view) why the power of procreation is so sacred. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 2:10 PM Find…
173. Porn has wrecked my life….24 year addiction, I want out and currently walking it out… Done with it!! I pray no other has to experience what I have…If only I known.. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 2:09 PM Find…
174. I’d just like to say I’ve seen evolution of porn into point where it is ALWAYS inappropriate power over being used to manipulate someone else. Also there is whole genre of porn that suggests that massage parlors are places of prostitution, which actually encourages men to visit massage parlors while seeking prostitution. Since such places are also highly associated with Human Trafficking, it is like porn is marketing arm for Human Traffickers. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 2:02 PM Find…
175. Love it! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 2:01 PM Find…
176. It’s addictive. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 1:55 PM Find…
177. It was my husband’s to enhance having sex with each other Thu, Aug 16, 2012 1:49 PM Find…
178. I was addicted to pornography and I nearly destroyed my marriage. I recovered with the help of a religious addiction recovery program. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 1:43 PM Find…
179. I was addicted to pornography, so I know the harm it can do. The stuff I was looking at was not hardcore, just stuff that excited me sexually. It STILL had a huge effect on my life, and I felt like I was a horrible person constantly. I felt black inside, but didn’t know how to stop. With help from God I was able to overcome. Thank you so much for all you do to help and protect people from pornography! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 1:33 PM Find…
180. As a lesbian, I completely understand the attraction to women. What I don’t understand and what hurts my soul to the core is the objectification of anyone-be they male or female. My family growing up was devastated with the discovery of pornographic sites in the history of our home computer. I knew that it was either the older of my two brothers or my father. It made me feel unsafe in my own home. If one of them was objectifying these women-using them solely as objects of lust-how could I feel safe? Were my friends safe to come over or would they also be seen for just their bodies?
My oldest brother still is addicted to porn. I’ve seen his stashes of magazines and movies. He does not see it as a problem or anything wrong. He doesn’t take into account the pain that he has caused and is causing. He doesn’t see what he is saying to all the women in his life by viewing pornography: You are worth no more than the satisfaction your body could give mine.
Thu, Aug 16, 2012 1:21 PM Find…
181. Nudity/pornography is everywhere. One does not even intend on seeing it, but if you are on the internet you are exposed to it automatically. If you are on facebook, you run into it. If you go on youtube you definitely run into it. If you do google image search, you search for unrelated keywords and it pops out…It really is overwhelming may God bless you guys for taking on this sacred mission for all of humanity. If people like you don’t exist, we’ll eventually all become desensitized. Pornography needs to be fought at all levels including legislations. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 1:17 PM Find…
182. Formed an organization Good News Together We Stand in 1984 to educate folks about the dangers and to get the obscenity laws Enforced. Visited a porn store with a woman to see exactly what was going on. Ugh Attended nation conferences. Wrote letters to the newspapers. Problem has exploed with the internet and now men are assauling little children and even infants! Daily cases are reported in the newspapers. People don’t seem to care. Our hope is in the Lord. He Cares!!! Peggie Lauber Miller Thu, Aug 16, 2012 1:10 PM Find…
183. I am a Christian since the age of 6, baptized at 14, now 44, married with three children and I still deal with the effects of pornography.I hope my experience helps shed light on what may drive or lead boys/men back to pornography, and how we might review how we admonish young people about the opposite sex.

I grew up in a strict Christian family with older brothers and an older sister, and mostly Christian friends. Although us boys were always in underwear around the house, I don’t remember ever having seen my sister in any less clothing than shorts, not even a bathing suit as she was told to wear shorts over them.

I remember when my friends said girls have the cooties as they said the same about us, but perhaps because my sister was so loving towards me, I never felt that way and I always saw girls as God had made them extra special as He made us special.

I recall several occasions when our curiosities about the opposite sex surfaced, such as pool parties or sleepovers, when an apparel failure or keyhole peeks and giggles by the opposite group taking a collective bath would expose any one or more of us.

In several instances, I remember girls asking to see that which they were curious about and I would concede, and sometimes make a reciprocal request. My perception that this exchange of curiosity was as common and natural as I had experience was ruptured when an adult woman — who witnessed 3 girls of my age (6) opening my bathing suit and touching me — scolded me (not them) and told their parents, who told my parents that I was a dirty boy.

I remember vividly that sequence of events and the open humiliation in front of the girls’ families. I was told at that age, in different ways, that this was dirty.

Soon after I accepted Jesus as my savior. Unfortunately soon after I was also shown a porn magazine by an older boy, then another, then by a neighbor friend and so on. The first image is as vivid as if I had seen it today.

No one told me, not even my parents — until I was a teenager — that sex was special. Over the following years I had contact with pornography at a friend’s house and found refuge in it because I didn’t want to run the risk of having too much contact with girls. Although I noticed girls’ curiosity and interest in me, I shied away from it out of fear of them turning around and accusing me of their curiorisity.

I didn’t date until I was 19 and only a couple of times throughout college, without any intimacy. A church leader in our church would often speak to the youth and she would constantly refer to her experience of marriage and divorce and the sexual abuse that sadly occurred. Her main point was “men are the natural aggressors, and sex is their weapon.” By then I figured men were damned and all girls need to be protected from us and remain single.

Finally, the girl I thought I was going to marry wanted to become intimate with me. We didn’t go all the way, but apparently enough to satisfy her curiosity. When I asked to marry her, she ended our relationship, claiming that she was on a higher spiritual ground than me.

So at age 26 I married my fiance of less than a year, afraid that she’d change her mind, too as we had experienced some intimacy, too. Soon after we married, she avoided intimacy and asked that only she take the initiative, since she didn’t feel the same interest in sex as when we were dating. So this only occured on the eve of her period, that is if it didn’t surprise her. We’re still married 18 years later, many of which were with little or no sex and the attempts at discussion, treatment were recused.

That’s how pornography became a refuge, lest I become perceived as an aggressor, because somehow the perception that the only women who like sex are the ones in the pictures (and the ones gossiped about) is what stuck in my mind. The perception that girls only endure sex was perpetuated even in my marriage.

I refuse to believe that God designed men or women faulty. Somehow I missed out on the blessing that sex is intended to be, so please tell this generation of boys and girls, as I do my children that sex is something very special that God created in each of us, for us to enjoy with our spouses.

We need to find a way to convey to young girls that they are special as they are and that they don’t need to look like any model to be loved by boys, nor are boys or girls dirty for being curious and interested in each other.

And as the Bible verse says to not through pearls to pigs, we are to save this special present for our future spouse. I sometimes feel hypocritical since this has not happened in my life, but I still believe it is God’s plan that sex is a treasure for a couple and that pornography is a destructive distraction from God’s Plan for a full life.

Since we don’t see explicitly pornographic advertisements on TV or Home & Garden (thankfully), we need to realize that the non-pornographic media is actually who promotes pornography as they tread the fine line of insinuation and sexual simulations.

Pornography doesn’t begin with XXX, not even with one X; it ends up there. Pornography begins with prime time ads for beauty products, TV series, whether soap operas, comedies or dramas. Not to mention Sports Illustrated.

I apologize for using this upcoming word, but boys don’t begin to masturbate viewing pornographic magazines, but as my friends and I did, it was with Sears Roebuck Catalogs Intimate Apparel Section because demonstrating curiosity with girls and vice versa is reprimanded and treated as dirty. I am not in favor of promoting open curiosity, but when it is perceived, it should be treated as natural and positive and the boy or girl should be surrounded with loving support and education and instruction about their curiosity to shape their perception of the opposite sex in the light of God’s divine purpose.

The absence of light (a positive message about sex) in the media leaves a void that is filled by darkness.

I work in Marketing and Communications and I am very strict with the creative teams to shun any remote sign of appeal to sexual instincts. I am often countered, but if I refuse to contribute to the propagation of the image that girls should aspire to look like supermodels.

God Bless your Ministry

Thu, Aug 16, 2012 1:06 PM Find…
184. My experiences have been uniformly positive, though I prefer to look at some types of materials and not others. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 1:04 PM Find…
185. I was asked to find it on my parents computer that had a filter on it. It was viral and would randomly pop up video. My 11 year old brother found out about it first and freaked out. My parents didn’t know how to fix it and would just crash the computer every time it came on. It was no fun finding it and all of its offspring to clean the computer so it was safe to use again. Filters are good, but they don’t catch everything, even with virus protection too. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 12:46 PM Find…
186. It will destroy your mind! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 12:38 PM Find…
187. There are good anti-porn ministries out there.But few seem to point out the need for a TOTAL transformation of the person. I know this is not popular with everyone, but I truly believe recovery starts with Christ in the Eucharist because the recovery has to be of divine nature, it can’t just be based off of human will power. Thanks for what you do! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 12:35 PM Find…
188. Everyone should have a filter on their computers. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 12:26 PM Find…
189. It been a chain around my neck, i’ve been a slave too it. Please make it less available! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 12:22 PM Find…
190. My first husband was so addicted to pornography that he first exposed the older kids to pornography when they were 7 and 5. Since then all of the kids have been exposed and he is facing criminal prosecution due to it! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 12:18 PM Find…
191. I was molested as a child with the use of pornography. My husand secretly beasme addited to pornography and was abusive to me. he got counseling adn is free from the harms of porn and a happier man able to love his family. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 12:17 PM Find…
192. Playboy magazines were in the home that I cleaned. I think the worst damage is from going to an X-rated movie w/my husband. My imagination is not very active, and seeing this stuff impacted me negatively and my husband wanted some of the same, which was repulsive to me, yet I didn’t feel like I could say no. I only said no to a request of 1 type. I believe watching this movie negatively affected our sex life. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 12:13 PM Find…
193. pornography desensitizes and therefore makes it more likely for someone to take these twisted ideas out on others. It is how our culture is being socialized to sex and is the opposite of healthy sexuality. My father raped me and im convinced porn allowed him to do so… daddy, daughter bs normalized…bs Thu, Aug 16, 2012 12:05 PM Find…
194. It has haunted my life since that first time. Always looking for more or wondering what a specific search phrase will turn up. Always not liking how I felt afterwords. Knowing that I wish the women I was watching had made better choices, or knew that there were better options. Hating how it degraded them but still myself being facinated by it, by what would make people want to do these things and by the sheer physiological urge and psychological addiction. I have quit several times and always when I feel like I’m free of it, pornography will worm it’s way into my life when I’m at a weak point. I am so tired of this fight. So, so tired. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 12:04 PM Find…
195. It’s difficult to fight a battle in which the whole world seems to be fighting against you. I’m a 25-year-old single male, and it seems harder and harder to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. Pornography has become an addiction, and one that always makes me feel bad about myself. It makes me unfit to be qualified to look for someone of the quality I would like, because I’m not that quality myself. I wish society would come to the realization of how bad it really is, because it would help people like me, who are good at the core, have an easier time at avoiding it. I know that sounds like I’m projecting my problem onto someone else, but I do take full responsibility for my actions. It would just be nice to feel more of a support on the side of good morality. I will continue to fight. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 12:04 PM Find…
196. I hate the stuff… I am city one now .. My husband of 28 years sought that and left… Four years later was going to marry this man . He admired to looking at and having that problem .. He went to pure life minitries for six months we got married .. I have a Bescure filter but some how he must be going past that or trying to go to porne … Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:57 AM Find…
197. I gave up pornography and masturbation over four years ago after attending Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:56 AM Find…
198. I was sexually abused in a situation involving hard core pornography–this was some 35 years ago. I am still trying to put my life back together and adjust to the trauma and pain that the exposure caused. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:54 AM Find…
199. Pornography destroyed my life and my marriage through my husbands addiction. But I’m picking up the pieces, learning to move on, to forgive, and desperately yearning for peace and happiness again. I hate that this happened to me, but one day, I hope to look back, and see that I am stronger because of it, and I hope to help others who have felt the utter despair that I have felt. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:51 AM Find…
200. no Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:49 AM Find…
201. My father, who was a WONDERFUL man (he died of cancer when I was 15) was troubled that I was a shy kid in junior high who at age 13 wasn’t wanting to date any girls yet. So, in retrospect, I think he only wanted to help me “get interested” when he bought me a copy of Playboy Magazine’s 20th anniversary edition. Like other men when exposed, I can still see the pictures in my mind to this day. (I don’t think Dad’s actions were fully uncommon; remembering the song “Pictures of Lily” by The Who, which detailed much the same action but for a slightly different reason.)I never quite became “hooked” to the point of buying it constantly, but it totally hurt my imagination and I still suffer from that years later. Also, my best friend in high school (later best man for my wedding) had a sister who worked as a cashier at the town’s X-rated movie theatre, so we got to view those frequently, which further deteriorated my views on sexuality and made me somewhat oblivious to the effects of pornography (in front of and behind “the screen”) until years later. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:46 AM Find…
202. I would just like to say we do not use the word pornography. We alk about modesty, dignaty and the images they see at stores or on TV lead people to sinful thoughts and actions that use people as objects and not love them for the person they are. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:38 AM Find…
203. My husband struggles with pornography. He mainly has it under control but we do not welcome opportunities to view it. All computers, phones and internet has filters on it with both of us having the passwords. I have all passwords to his phone also. He willingly allows me to monitor him to keep his addiction at bay. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:34 AM Find…
204. Had an older brother who was into porn who molested me and (I THINK) my little brother. It is a poison. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:28 AM Find…
205. Has been a tough process to come out of, I was introduced at the age of 16 by a neighbor who was on his 40’s…. He gave me some tapes to watch…After more than 10 years it became something that consumed to much of my mind… Currently in therapy and have improved a lot… But yes, pornography should be something that should not exist but sadly is everywhere and destroying society… I think pornography has an effect on people and makes people do things that are rare and uncommon… Society is getting sick with pornography we are not the U.S that we used to be and to that in pat I blame the porn industry….. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:22 AM Find…
206. My initial experience with pornography is that I could only see pornography in magazines. I was over 18 and could legally buy magazines but still had to pluck up the courage to do so. Prior to this I had seen one page of a magazine. The images were rude but only women posing. I perhaps bought a magazine a year and hid it well. A few years later I picked up a magazine in France that was much more explicit and had men and women in it.This was still very much a small part of my life and I wasn’t regularly viewing porn.Then the internet came along. I started finding images and started with images of women in sexy poses. As time went on I found it easier and easier to find more explicit and eventually obviously more abusive pornography. The way I looked at women started to change and I started to seek out more explicit and abusive porn. Considering the amount of pornography out there and the ease by which it can be accessed I do worry about future generations and my own kids. I am now a regular church goer and trust in God to help me resist porn but it is a constant struggle and such a powerful temptation. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:15 AM Find…
207. yes Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:12 AM Find…
208. I have been exposes to it, hate it has caused lots of damage in my life. Been abused sexually because iof it, tied up, etc made to feel less than I am and that I wasn’t enough! I am 52 and divorced, my last husband lied to me said he wasn’t involved with porn anymore, caught him and we separated and he ran up a 1600.00 cell phone bill watching it on his cell.phone. Movies like Magic Mike for example are promoting this and people are so blinded by all the damage porn does. Every man in my life has been involved with it one way or the other and I want every piece of porn destroyed and sent back to the pits of hell where it came from!!!! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:09 AM Find…
209. My husband was also a sex addict and his obsession with sex eventually lead to our divorce in 1988. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:07 AM Find…
210. I read and watched a lot of BDSM porn, and it’s affected my relationship with my fiancé. I want him to do things to me that would be painful, which he would never do. It’s not the end if the world, but it does make things awkward. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:05 AM Find…
211. I was definitely addicted. It influenced me to choose unhealthy relationships in college. It stunted my maturity into a responsible, healthy adult. It skewed my view of sexuality completely (I had no idea what honoring sex in marriage could look like outside of the pornography context). I was very depressed, and I put myself in dangerous situations where I was further harmed by men. Thankfully, I have been healed in miraculous ways by God, and I am learning, though some days struggling with, how to be a woman with a healthy sexuality, and healthy expectations for relationships. I have also had to learn how to be attracted to “good” men, as my brain was wired to be attracted to sexually aggressive men from a young age. It was, and still is, very damaging. I always worry about a relapse, which is hard to live with. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:03 AM Find…
212. I was molested around 6 and around 8 ‘found’ porno. I baby sat at 13 and the guy had moutains of porno in the open. I became addicted to it at different stages of my life. When I was finally delivered from it I was to the point of needing it 24/7. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:03 AM Find…
213. My ex husband was addicted to porn. It ruined any intamacy we had, and destroyed our marriage. He moved “up” to cheating when the porn was no longer enough. He judged my appearance and “performance” by what he saw in magazines and porn films. He would use his work laptop for his porn, and had to bribe an IT guy to wipe them clean when he had to turn them in. The last straw was catching him with his laptop and our 8 yr. old daughter sleeping just 2 feet away. He cheated with many other women, including prostitutes. I found out a few years ago that he passed along Herpes to me from one of those encounters. Porn ruined my family! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:01 AM Find…
214. I have seen it at a friend’s house, we were about twelve at the time and we were walking through her hallway when one of her brothers opens his doo and in the background you could hear and see very clearly on a computer screen was being watched. It shocked me. My parents had spoken to me about pornography so I knew what it was. I’m just thankful that I was told about things like porn before, so I would know where I stand in either supporting it or battling it. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 11:00 AM Find…
215. I was first shown pornography by a friend when I was in 3rd grade; she obtained it from her mother & brought it to school to show some of her friends. Crowded in a bathroom stall, we looked through it in wonderment only to be caught by someone who was watching over the kids in the afterschool program. We were told on & were told to tell our parents. I did not, but they never enforced the issue or found out. Later on in life, at age 16, I found myself a victim of pornography addiction. I feel that this inclination is due to the fact I was exposed at such a young age to such graphic material. I was able to overcome this addiction on my own with the help of God. I just stopped watching & pushed down my desires. Thank God, I do not have them anymore, but it took a lot of work. He has redirected me so much. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:58 AM Find…
216. My father worked at a factory w/men and when I was young I was curious and he would bring a brown paper bag home and put it in his room right away. I went to see what it was and it was Penthouse, Playboy and Hustler – a sick and said way to learn about sex and I could read at 9. People get addicted to porn and they think certain things they do are ok because of what they see and read. I have basic cable and that’s enough – it’s sad to see things about sex on shows that are geared for teens, etc. The acceptance of porn such as Playboy has made it acceptable for stations to push the envelope. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:53 AM Find…
217. My husband has a porn addiction, although he hasn’t viewed anything for almost 2 years now. His started when he was a little boy and he found his Dad’s stash. He was caught by his parents a few times, but they never explained anything to him and he was left to figure out on his own that it wasn’t a good thing to be involved in. Parents need to talk to their kids about sex and pornography long before they are exposed, at least by the time they are 6 or 7. Creating a relationship of trust and not shame can help kids avoid and/or overcome pornography addiction. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:47 AM Find…
218. It is the most addictive and destructive drug I can think of and once embedded in the mind it cannot be dislodged. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:46 AM Find…
219. I was curious about why people iked it. I said I will only watch one clip. I kept thinking about the clip and within hours was searching for it again. But instead I found another clip. I’m addictied to porn now. I have been for a year and a half. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:46 AM Find…
220. Pornography was always something insidious in ym family, done behind closed doors, hidden and hsameful which all added into the insidious part of hte child abuse that went with it, 3 years later the pornography became far worse as I was ‘introduced’ to ‘friends’ it was terrible and sustained until puberty when it stopped, or so I thought, my father fell abck into it online and my abuse started again for a year until I left home at 15, pornogrphy was a catalyst to abuse. My father has repented adn paid a veyr high price for his terrible actions, we now have a relationship again that took me by surprise but I carried open poisonous wounds for decades form it. it affected my sexuality, leading me to gay relationships I did not feel, but were safer and my selfconfidence and self image were badly damaged, I ended up with eating disorders adn self-harm. I used pain to tell ymself I was still alive, I used men adn women coldly as I felt like one of those horrid images….flat and inhuman, to be used as a disposal bin for men. Love was anathema to me, I did not beleive I could be lovable being so filthy so tried to take love where I did not beleive it could be given, as pron so often suggests is the case.
My father admitted to getting into pornography as a young lad from his own father who was secretive and overtly sexualised with mysogenistic attitudes. Without porn I wonder what these men would have been? could they have been the benevolent protective fathers they should have been without that early sexualisation and distorted imagery and feeligns in tehir bodies that corrupted their minds and damaged at least 3 generations? I now still avoid sexualised situations and doubt I could ever have a sexual relationship. I still occasionally, when feleing less confident have to battle irrational fear of men and disgust and nausea rising at porn in films tv and media disguised as entertainment and normality. Porn destroys people.
Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:44 AM Find…
221. Pornography destroyed 2 marriages and almost 2 of my children. Vigilant prayer and God’s mercy saved them. I HATE pornography. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:43 AM Find…
222. I am actually answering this question on behalf of my husband, who was exposed to porn from a magazine brought in by my older brother, or father, when he was 11. He became addicted to pornography, and has battled the addiction for the last 27 years. As addictions generally do, they get worse before they get better, and his escalated to the point of ALMOST going to a strip club. He went in the doors, but never went into the actual club. Shortly thereafter, he realized he needed to ride his life of this addiction. His addiction was kept hidden from me for the first 8 years of our marriage, before he finally decided he was tired of living a lie. It has literally turned our world upside down. The effects of pornography are so far reaching. I’m grateful to companies, like yours, that are doing their part to fight this battle. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:36 AM Find…
223. It ruined my 21 year marriage. I am sad for my daughters who will have trouble finding a future mate that hasn’t been exposed to the unrealistic and destructive nature of pornography. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:35 AM Find…
224. Several years ago I found out my husband was addicted to porn. It destroyed our marriage. We have been to counseling and he attends the LDS 12 step program. I attend the support group, which has helped A LOT. He’s in a good place now, but we still have lingering trust issues. I hate it.Technology is changing so rapidly and I worry I won’t be able to keep up to know what my sons will be exposed to when they get older. In a society where it is becoming more and more the norm, it makes it that much more difficult for my children to stand up for what they believe in.

I appreciate everything you’re doing. I’m not brave enough to combat the industry, and I applaud and support all of your efforts.

I would like to see an effort to get porn off of cell phones………Many parents aren’t aware what children can do on phones, and I’m assuming a lot are being exposed to porn in their quiet bedroom and becoming addicted forever. It sickens me.

Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:34 AM Find…
225. I’m 67 years old so it wasn’t as prevalent when I was young as it is now. But at around age 10 friends showed me Playboy and one had some hard core photos from Mexico showing people engaged in sex. Over the years porno became easier and I looked at it whenever I saw it but never sought it out until I got home access to the internet. I realized that I was getting an unhealthy addiction to it and stopped looking at it. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:34 AM Find…
226. sure Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:30 AM Find…
227. my dad had 8mm movies. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:29 AM Find…
228. It has recked at least one relationship and is still theatening another. It makes me personally feel very insecure and I have a obsession with it not being in my life. I have become hard to live with and I constantly accuse my husband of looking at it even though I’m not sure he does. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:28 AM Find…
229. I am a child care provider. I have two girls in my child care whose father has been arrested for share filing child pornography. Now the children can not see their dad. He is also battling the mom for custody, he wants shared decision making, and grandmother visitation, but he lives with his mom and now she can’t see her grandchildren, because the x-wife biological mother can not trust the father or trust the grandmother not to expose her children to his life style choices. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:27 AM Find…
230. I grew up in a two parent home where morals were held and practiced. When the computer came around I was warned by my parents that “sometimes bad stuff pops up so be careful” they trusted us kids to know right from wrong and to practice what they modeled and taught. We never had filters. I came across it on accident once and quickly pulled the plug on the computer. I think if they knew just how evil and dirty the images can be they would have been more careful but because we had such a strong moral family it never was a very big problem. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:25 AM Find…
231. Years ago, when we first got a computer, our oldest was looking up X-Men toys and saw horrible images. He was pre-pubescent, now 23, and struggles with SSA. Not that this incident caused that, but it was a traumatic incident. I was very upset and did not know how to deal with it. My husband just wanted me to forget about it. But he did agree to put filters on after that. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:25 AM Find…
232. Never got hooked on it and seldom viewed anything in my life. I avoid it like the plague. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:21 AM Find…
233. A porno photo shuttled me into porno magazines and then into homosexuality. That struggle lasted for over 12 years and many wasted hours. It eventually cost me my marriage, but today I am stable and ready to help others do battle and get real. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:16 AM Find…
234. n/a Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:15 AM Find…
235. Ever since I first saw it at the library, I sought it out. My parents tried everything they could to prevent my access, but I always found a way. I watched it habitually until I got married and then I tried to quit. I found myself watching again and when my wife found out, even though I saw how much it hurt her, I still didn’t stop. It almost lead to divorce several times. I eventually went to sexaholics anonymous because I realized I couldn’t stop of my own will. I’ve been clean now for a year and my marriage and family relationships have vastly improved. I’m so sorry for the 15+ years I wasted in shame of my double life, how I lied to my parents and hurt them, my infidelity to my wife through pornography and the turmoil it put our marriage and our children through. I wish I’d never seen it that day and I’m dismayed that even now libraries don’t have safeguards in place to protect children. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:15 AM Find…
236. My father felt sexual promiscuity was a good thing. I grew up thinking porn and tons of sex was good. Thank God I have overcome my addiction! Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:14 AM Find…
237. My husband has struggled with it throughout our marriage. When he goes into his weak low points he is very tempted by it and it greatly affects our relationship. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:10 AM Find…
238. It is discussing and very addictive. I’ve struggled with it thruout my life. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:07 AM Find…
239. When I first fell for the lure of porn, I was trying hard to hide it from everyone. My family would wonder why I’d often go into hiding. I was able to stop for a bit, but then was hit with the second time. That one was far worse, and it included a time I decided to do away with myself. It was so much more, because all I had was my depression and my porn, but I got help and stepped back into the light. Shortly after, I met my wife, and, although we both deal with it on a daily basis, the fact that we have each other has made it easier to curb. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 10:04 AM Find…
240. The addiction feels nearly-unbreakable… it has had a frighteningly intense “death grip” on me at times. During my early teen years it caused me to primarily focus on seeking physical intimacy much more so than deep friendships … which of course led to some disheartening results. Thankfully for repeated forgiveness and help via Jesus and people who follow him, I get second chances every day… and by following and striving to listen to him, I have many successful (porn-free) days and very many positive/healthy relationships. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 9:47 AM Find…
241. I am 24 years old and while I myself have never had direct experiences with observing porn, I have always felt a tremendous pressure from the media and the knowledge of the existence of porn to look and act a certain way. As a God fearing woman though, I am not what is typically paraded around as an ideal. Some time ago, early on in my relationship with my boyfriend, I asked him if he had looked at pornography or still did. I discovered that previous to our relationship he had looked at porn regularly, deciding against it only 6 months before we began dating. I know I am nothing like the girls in porn, in both body and spirit! As a result, I felt that my appearance, countenance, attitude, and body would never be enough or what he wanted. It was many months before I felt comfortable around him again in my own body; like I truly was beautiful to him and that I would not have to live up to some expectation or standard set forth by the fantasy of pornography.In the future, given my history of struggles with depression and self value, I know that if he were to ever look at pornography again, it would bring about a depression and self disappointment that no amount of anti-depressants could ever fix. He and I have discussed this and he knows I am trusting in him to continue to be the man of God I know him to be and continue to walk rightly in the path of righteousness.

We now have a blossoming and strong relationship and can’t wait till the time is right to become engaged and married. We look forward to continuing to love and support each other as we grow together and strengthen our relationship, without pornography.

Thu, Aug 16, 2012 9:45 AM Find…
242. It has been accompanied with physical and mentally abusive relationships (infringed upon me, I do not use and haven’t since I 17). It has caused flashbacks and panic attacks, being a survivor of repeated rape and violence. It has always been accompanied by the use of illegal hard drugs and I no longer love the partner I am currently with for forcing it back in my life. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 9:41 AM Find…
243. Where I grew up it was very ok to view porn, considered a natural rite as part of becoming an adult. My uncle kept a stack of porn magazines on the back of the toilet in his home. My siblings knew so much more than I did somehow and would mock me that I was so “prude”.Looking back I remember my parents having arguments, but a lot of it went over my head at the time. I know now a lot of it had to do with porn. My father suggested to me in my late teens- when I was leaning toward becoming a writer- that I should write “smut” because I’d be sure to make good money.

I remember in my 20’s staying at a friend’s place.
My friend went out for the evening and I decided to stay in. My friend told me to help myself to anything in the apartment, adding that the porn was in the office as naturally as a person would say cereal is in the pantry.

Thu, Aug 16, 2012 9:34 AM Find…
244. Like any addiction pornography did not start with pornography. We live in a sexually saturated culture from movies to games music activities ect. All of these things had an influence early on in life. So at first it would be watching music videos showing things and then it would progress into wanting to see bikini’s, models, and celebrities, and then it progress to nude models(playboy ect) next it goes to soft core porn then hard core porn and next thing you know 10 yrs later you are hooked. Thats how addiction happens. Men are physically driven and stimulated so the more we see , the more we want to see. I was no different. Women need to understand that how they dress and carry themselves will greatly impact how a guy looks and perceives her. If she dresses modestly it will be easier for the guy to see what is in the girls heart rather than struggling to listen to her because he wants to look at her body at the same time. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 9:25 AM Find…
245. Porn destroyed my life and caused me to only think of women as sex objects. because i was exposed to porn so early i interpreted sex as true love instead of other forms of love like friendship and self sacrifice. I didn’t stop using porn till i was over 18. No one did anything to prepare me for the addictive nature of porn or how to deal with it. Because trained me to use women i often the height of any relationship was sex so when talking to women i often had wondering eyes which i know now is a disrespect. Porn is just another component of sexual addiction to my generation. One time i was at a family members house when we found a porn tape. when we watched it it made me feel wrong but gave me a rush similar to a high, I knew i was hooked (at age 10). Thu, Aug 16, 2012 9:23 AM Find…
246. My Testimony
It all started for me in the mid 80’s at a pretty young age. It was all innocent enough. My neighborhood friend found his dad’s stash of Playboys and he showed them to me.Naturally, I didn’t plan on being addicted. However, like all addictions it started small and snowballed out of control. It started with Playboy, but when that wasn’t enough, I started looking at Penthouse, when that wasn’t enough I went to harder and harder material. I tried on many occasions to give up the porn but was never successful on my own. When the internet came around it was over, I could look at whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. Make no mistake about it, I had some bad fetishes. Even pictures of homosexuals were not out of the question, even though I never went down that road in “real life”. I just wanted to see two or more naked people engaged in sexual activities.

Viewing porn started to affect my “real life”. I would be late to places because I was masturbating. I had many partners and starting acting out some things I was seeing. I didn’t care who the person was as long as I was getting what I wanted. I ruined marriages because I slept with married women with no remorse (at the time). I felt lonelier and lonelier with each partner. I no longer knew who I was.

Then I started to really hit the bottom. One drunken night at the bar, I had unprotected sex with a girl I met there. I ended up getting Chlamydia. I had to leave work early one day because I hurt so bad. My mom drove me to the emergency room where I found out what was wrong. How embarrassing to have to tell my mother that I had an STD. To be honest, that day scared me to no end. What if it was some other disease that wasn’t curable? What if it would have been AIDS? I called my friends who are born again Christians. I asked if their offer to take me to church was still open. How excited they were!!! They said “Of course!!” I started to go to church with them and even answered an alter call. I didn’t feel any different though and started right back down the road of sex and porn.

One day, a few months later, while I was on the internet surfing through some really hardcore pictures a voice said to me “This isn’t how you are going to find a wife and it isn’t how you are going to be a good dad someday”. I later found out this voice was the Holy Spirit talking to me. The Holy Spirit knew what it would take to talk to me as I had always dreamed of being married and having children. I had all but given up on that dream. However, I actually listened to that voice this time. I clicked off the internet that night.
A few days after that I went on a train ride with my friends in Titusville PA. After the train ride we stopped in Meadville to eat. As we were enjoying our meals I started to tell them about my addiction. How I couldn’t get porn out of my life. My friend said to me “All you have to do is admit your sins to Jesus and accept him as your savior.” Right at that moment I did just that! From that moment I was forgiven for my sins!!!

If you think that is the end of my story, you are very mistaken! My story was just beginning! I started to go back to church. This time it was different, I wanted to change! I was willing to repent! Everything started in small steps. The first was getting baptized and sharing my story. Next was throwing out all the porn magazines and DVD’s. Next I threw out all the extra “stuff” I collected from all the different partners I had. The next thing shown to me was I needed to stop drinking. When I got drunk I would do things I wouldn’t do otherwise. One of the hardest things to give up was using my phone to “sext”. I kept that one girl in my phone. That one girl I didn’t tell about my decision to follow Jesus to, just so I’d still be able to flirt over the phone. I was finally convicted of it and told her I could no longer do that. Another thing I gave up later was a “self made” sex tape. I figured it was me in the video so it was alright. I was wrong. I threw that out. I also realized I couldn’t use the internet late at night when no one else was around. I also deleted my MySpace page because it was too easy to find porn. There were other little steps along the way. I was starting to finally be content with being alone.

That’s when God put a special woman in my life. We met at membership classes for the church. I was afraid to be in a relationship because of all the things I had done in the past. I told my future wife everything within three weeks of knowing her. Telling her if she wanted out, that would be the time. She didn’t leave.

We began taking pre-marital classes with a couple we met in membership classes. We did this before I even asked her to marry me. Also during the time we tried our best to abstain from any sexual contact. It wasn’t easy! Luckily we had mentors to turn to. We also decided not to move in together until we were married. We were married in December of 2008. In January we were given the news that my wife was pregnant and in September my little boy was born!!! I adopted her daughter as well!!! The things I always dreamed about!!!

During that time I still continued to grow. As I was dating my wife, I had a meeting with one of the pastors and he helped me break the soul bonds I had created with all my past partners. I also threw out anything in my house that reminded me of old girlfriends, even if they weren’t sexually related. Later I started to use Covenant Eyes on my computer with my wife and an accountability partner getting the reports in their e-mail. When I would slip I would tell my wife before she even got the report (On a side note, if you slip, DO NOT GIVE UP, ask God for forgiveness, repent and start fresh. God will forgive you). The next step was finding a group of guys who get together once a week for accountability. We are truthful, non judgmental and loving. I also went on a church retreat called “Cleansing stream” that helped get some of the “leftover” stuff out of my life.

Another thing I have been working on is masturbation. Oh how I struggled with that when I first came to the Lord. I thought it would never be out of my life. I was taught, through my accountability group, that it can be defeated! With God’s grace I have gone a long time since I last slipped on this front. I hope to have this problem conquered completely one day! Oh, and the porn problem hasn’t been much of a problem lately but I will continue to take steps to make sure it doesn’t come back into my life! I am also working on lustful thoughts and changing my thought process.

It took years for me to get to the point I was at and it took years to change that. Please don’t be discouraged by any setbacks!!!
1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
The most important things it took for me to come as far as I have:

1 I admitted I had a problem
2 I asked God to help me through the work Jesus Christ did on the cross
3 Transforming my thoughts
4 ACCOUNTABILITY! Both on the computer and face to face.
5 Taking small steps
6 A continuous will to want to get better
7 I found a good church to help me

A great wife helps too!

I don’t know if I will ever be 100% cured in this lifetime. However, I have come a long, long way since I gave my life to Jesus in October of 2007 and with the help of Jesus Christ I will continue on my walk!

You can be free too!

John 8:34-36
34Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. 35Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. 36So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
What does it mean to be free? Some things I learned about freedom:
1 I don’t have to worry about anyone finding a “stash” of porn magazines.
2 If my daughter wants to use my computer, I don’t worry about her finding a history of porn sites.
3 If my wife needs to use my phone I know she won’t find any dirty pictures.
4 I don’t have to hide any DVD’s when friends and family come over.
5 When I die, I don’t worry about what will be found in my house.
Those are the tangibles. There is so much more to freedom that has to be lived out to understand!

YOU CAN DO IT!!

There is FREEDOM indeed!

Thu, Aug 16, 2012 9:10 AM Find…
247. My brothers and I were online playing a tank shooting game. Then we got hit with what’s called a net-bomb. (it’s a virus that posts dozens of pop-up’s. A you close them, 5 more open up.) It’s designed to distract you while a hacker searches your computer. We just turned off the computer because we didn’t want to get into trouble. It lead young addiction and I was able to kick the habit ,the 1st time, in 10th grade. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 9:07 AM Find…
248. The effects of porn in my home was devastating, when I was growing up. I wish they never invented the stuff. Thu, Aug 16, 2012 8:51 AM Find…
249. Pornography has ruined my life, even though my husband has recover from an addiction since he was 11 and kept it a secret for 18 years of our marriage…Life it’s just not the same for me… I cant enjoy TV shows, commercials, movies ANYMORE…our time at a cruise it was horrible for me because I see women different now…I see them the way ‘I think’ he’ll see them, many times when I shared this with him he mentions that he does not even notice the things that I do!…IT is just not fair that even when he has overcome many aspects of his addiction I am still struggling!!! SO HE JUST NEED TO BE PATIENT with MY interrogations from time to time…FIGHTING this EVIL is the only way to keep myself from getting insane …that is WHY I AM HERE Thu, Aug 16, 2012 8:47 AM Find…
250. Porn & I have a love/hate relationship. I know how damaging it is, first-hand, but my addiction is stronger than me at times. Knowing how addictive it is makes me more determined to keep others from falling victim to its lies.

Further Reading