This blog is part of a series: “Reality Check: Exposing Myths from the Pro-Prostitution Lobby” Read the other blogs in this series:
- 5 Arguments to Legalize or Fully Decriminalize Prostitution – DEBUNKED!
- No, Prostitution is Not the Same as Being an Athlete or a Secretary
- 5 Things Sex Buyers Reveal About Prostitution
TRIGGER WARNING: Graphic quotes from sex buyers, descriptions of abuse
Aria (pseudonym), a Nigerian woman who immigrated to Denmark in pursuit of a new career, was cruelly tricked into prostitution and sex trafficked for years. What she thought was a job opportunity as a care taker for senior citizens led her to Copenhagen’s red-light district, and escape seemed like an absurd thought.
Her traffickers told her she owed them 42,000 euros in regular installments and she was forced to swear to pay the money and not reveal her traffickers. If she did not comply, she and her family members would be harmed, they told her.
Aria recalls several instances where she was almost killed by sex buyers, including one man who forced her to sit in the bathtub, completely naked, while he poured buckets of ice on her. It was the middle of winter.
This egregious behavior by sex buyers is not uncommon.
All of this took place in Denmark, where, it should be noted, prostitution (including sex buying) is legalized.
The pro-prostitution lobby attempts to obscure the reality of the practice by proliferating myths about sex buyers. This article will debunk common myths about sex buyers that often go hand-in-hand with arguments in favor of legalizing or decriminalizing prostitution.
1. Sex Buyers Need Prostitution for Their Emotional and Physical Well-Being
Advocates for legalizing or decriminalizing prostitution (i.e. removing criminal penalties for sex buying, pimping, and brothel keeping) often claim that sex buying is conducive to men’s well-being. Some even going so far as to paint it as a form of therapy.
In Germany, prostitution is being reframed as necessary “therapy” or “healing” for men and “sex therapy” is being pushed as a form of rehabilitation for convicted rapists.
Reframing prostitution as a form of “therapy” for men creates a classist hierarchy in which prostituted women are a lower class that become tools for “sexual therapy” for the most dangerous men. This class of women becomes disposable and subject to experimental therapies like these.
Further, even if it were true that prostitution has a positive effect on the well-being of men (which is highly doubtful, to say the least), the reverse is true for prostituted women. A study on the health, well-being, and safety of women in Germany found that prostituted women experience much higher rates of gynecological issues, digestive complaints, and eating disorders. About half of those interviewed in this study showed symptoms of depression, with a quarter citing “frequent or occasional” thoughts of suicide. A third experienced anxiety or panic attacks and approximately one in seven had the intention to self-harm within the past year.
We should not have to sacrifice the health, well-being, and fundamental rights of women to fulfill this false narrative that men are entitled to sex.
Closer to home, let’s look at the state of Nevada, where prostitution is also legal. Here, arguments are also being made that sex buying is necessary for men’s mental, emotional, and sexual health. For example, one Nevada brothel owner believes that paying for sex is a viable way to combat a pornography addiction.
“Distorted thoughts of what they think sex is supposed to be like cause them to feel insecure or distracted,” the article reads, describing those who compulsively use pornography.
While it is TRUE that pornography is a key contributing factor to the poor mental and sexual health of men, the solution is NOT to act out the violent and degrading sexual behavior depicted in pornography on vulnerable women who are exploited for profit.
One survivor in Nevada, Huschke Mau said, “Are women in prostitution crash test dummies to be experimented on? …Are we still human beings [to] the state?” By making access to brothels and prostitutes a “necessity for the human rights of men,” prostituted women are innately dehumanized by sex buyers.
2. Sex Buyers Treat Prostituted Women Well
“Linda* with a hotter body wouldn’t go for condomless, so I went for Aureila* whose got an ugly horse-face, which you just want to cover with a tissue while f—ing.” – German sex buyer
Sex buyers are not kind and gentle with the women they purchase. Rates of sex buyer violence towards prostituted persons are positively stomach-turning. Here are just a few examples of the numerous studies illustrating this point:
A study of 211 prostituted women in Mumbai, India found that 62% had experienced sexual assault from male sex buyers in only the first month of entering the sex trade.
A study of 562 women exploited in prostitution in Miami, Florida (USA) found that 34% experienced violence from sex buyers only in the past 90 days.
A study of 1,467 prostituted women in Kampala, Uganda found that 82% had experienced violence from sex buyers ever.
There is a vast collection of studies that show similar alarming statistics. Make no mistake: sex buyers are not paying prostituted women for nice, respectful sex. They are paying to abuse them.
Violence and Harm in Prostitution
3. Sex Buying Prevents Rape
“…Noticed that she wasn’t sober. Penetrated her briefly without a condom, but pulled the breaks on that and finished [ejaculating] into her mouth. She fell asleep. Noticed from her rapid breathing that she was definitely drunk.” – German sex buyer
Some argue that legalizing and accepting prostitution would prevent rape because men could satisfy their sexual desires by having so-called “consensual” sex on demand (prostitution is never truly consensual—consent can’t be bought). This is completely misguided logic. Rape and prostitution come from the same mentality—namely, that men are entitled to have sex whenever they want, and women are nothing but objects to fulfill men’s sexual urges.
Further, research does not show that rape rates decline when prostitution is legalized.
In Rhode Island, indoor prostitution was legalized from 1980-2009 and during this time frame, instances of rape did not see a significant decrease.
In Ethiopia, prostitution has been legalized, but workers still experience violence from sex buyers. A study of 4,900 females in prostitution in Ethiopia found that 15% reported rape since they started being sold for sex.
The idea that prostitution is an antidote to the rape epidemic is a misogynistic claim that continues to cater to male sexual entitlement, rather than holding men accountable for their violent acts committed against women. This thought process completely removes any power a woman has over her own body by, once again, asserting that a man’s needs supersede a woman’s safety.
Women should not have to be exploited because men simply cannot resist the urge to have sexual intercourse at any given moment.
4. Sex Buyers Make Sure Not to Purchase Trafficking Victims
“Many women are sold into the sex industry as children and get none of the cash. Just food and a bed. Sadly, we could only change this if we stopped buying sex. But that’ll never happen.” – German sex buyer
While it is gracious of the pro-prostitution side to assume that sex buyers are diligent about avoiding purchasing sex trafficked people, research vehemently disputes this.
A 2022 study found that 55% of German sex buyers admitted to having observed or paid a pimp or trafficker. Yet despite witnessing trafficking at such a high rate, only 1% of sex buyers had bothered to report it—even though sex buying is legal in Germany, and so the sex buyers could report the crime without fear of facing criminal penalties themselves. These sex buyers acknowledge that pimps in Germany “routinely commit violent acts that meet international definitions of torture.”
Research has consistently shown that legalizing prostitution actually increases sex trafficking because the demand from sex buyers grows. This incentivizes pimps/traffickers to push unwilling individuals into the sex trade, to make money from this demand. An analysis of data from 150 countries found that nations where prostitution is legalized reported higher inflows of human trafficking than in countries where it was partially or fully prohibited.
The only way to truly stop sex trafficking is to eliminate the demand—i.e. deter sex buyers. If we can criminalize the exploiters (sex buyers, pimps, brothel keepers) and not the prostituted persons, then this would eliminate the demand, as the exploiters would fear criminal ramifications under this approach. Without the demand for paid sex, women would not be trafficked because there would be no money in it for the exploiters.
Survivor Model vs. Full Decriminalization
5. Sex Buyers Are a Highly Diverse Group of People
“Hands off and keep your d***s away, complete rip-off! 99% of the Romanian girls aren’t really pretty, seems like they simply get hired for their big t*ts.” – German sex buyer
The pro-prostitution lobby often strives to hide the highly gendered nature of prostitution as a way of hiding the misogyny that the sex trade is founded on. The reality is, the vast majority of sex buyers are men and the vast majority of prostituted people are women (see here, here, and here). LGBTQ+ individuals are also frequently victimized, and are disproportionately represented in sex trafficking cases.
Prostitution is a system that preys on marginalized and vulnerable populations, and thrives on power dynamics.
Despite the cultural shift to normalize prostitution as a legitimate profession, prostituted women and other vulnerable individuals are still abused by sex buyers. The push to legalize the practice does not force sex buyers to treat prostituted persons with respect. Exploitation of women, children, and other vulnerable populations will continue until we recognize these myths about sex buyers for what they are: myths.
