Personal testimony from a woman who submitted her experience of child-on-child sexual abuse to be shared.
I’m a Korean adult adoptee.
I cut off communication with my adoptive family 9 yrs ago. I flew to the states and my new family at age 6, but cannot remember the first 2 yrs of happiness because of what happened after.
My adopted-parent [AP] dad was addicted to pornography.
He had 3 large stacks of Playboy and Hustler in his closet which he looked through nightly, sitting beside my AP mom in their bed.
But, on the outside we were the envy of our “wayward” neighbors with the Cleaver image family that attended church regularly.
My AP dad was even the chairman of the deacons at our Southern Baptist church for many years while my AP mom enjoyed directing the senior citizen group and quilting ladies. They displayed a strong happy marriage to the world and even to us while he sexually abused me.
I thought it was in secret from my AP mom, but no doubt she knew.
No man wakes up and decides to defile the body of pre-pubescent girls, like all horrific sins, it creeps in slowly, in printed material and now on the internet.
I’m pretty sure I wasn’t his only victim, suspecting a cousin 5 yrs my senior. She and I related to him similarly according to my enabling adopted-parent [AP] mom. We adored him and were special to him, but then suddenly we avoided him.
As I typed earlier, I don’t remember adoring him.
I just remember him sharing the printed pornography with me, seeing him watch a rented XXX movie while his wife was out of town, and feeling his hands molest me in the church parking lot.
His world came crashing down when he struggled to hold down a job for 2 yrs and I guess he thought God was punishing him.
He stopped touching me, although sexual abuse doesn’t always involve that, threw out the pornography pages and even apologized to me. I’m sure he still replays those pages nightly in his mind, next to his enabling wife.
While he may convince himself of his repenting ways the fact that he never confessed openly, never sought help, and never spoke out against pornography speaks volumes for what’s in his heart.
I think if he had surrounded himself with men openly committed to avoiding pornography he would have been the adopted parent dad he intended to be.
Instead he has no relationship with me, for the protection of me and my daughter, and he struggles with nightmares almost every night knowing the price he’ll pay stated clearly in the Bible. The Lord provides perfect justice.
After hours of counseling, reading books and the Bible I’m at peace with my past, grateful for my salvation, amazingly supportive husband, 2 children and my American citizenship.
Thanks for reading my story and please stop the pornography business that can turn a man with a good heart into a sexual predator.