First saw it at age 11. Addiction started when I got a MySpace account – age 15.
I got friends who I started to look at it with. Masturbation started when I was
looking at it for such an extended amount of time that I just….climaxed. The
feeling was very…addictive. And then everything went downhill. I barely realized
that what I was doing was wrong – and I didn’t understand how destructive it was
at all. I started to turn to the Lord… But eventually, looking at porn and
masturbating became so normal to me. And repenting of it to the Lord felt….just
like masturbation… Empty. I wasn’t changing and I was only hurting myself. …it
took a very good friend to show me a lot of love and beauty in life out of that
slime I was living in to change my ways. I made goals, talked to my bishop,
started to always have a prayer in my heart, and I eventually served an LDS full
time mission. There have been slip ups after my mission, yes. However… I know
I am an addict. That will never change. And I know how to keep it out of my life. I
know what I did wrong, and I promised the Lord that I would never do it again
and do my best to avoid those things which give me unclean thoughts. Because
of these experiences, I respect woman a lot more, and understand the
sacredness of their bodies – and MY body. 🙂 I love Christ. He has never given up
on me. The best way to help others is to get them to know it is wrong, by
educating them, then giving them as much love as they will accept. 🙂
