ARTICLE: My porn use has destroyed my sex life

Original Post: Irish Times


Ever since I started my sex life, I have had a hard time maintaining a strong erection for penetration and I eventually lose it. It happened with my first encounter with my ex and we never got to sort it out with her (we tried a couple of times).

Our intimacy suffered as anxiety took over and I developed a mindset of: “What is the point if I am going to fail?”

This caused us a lot of pressure and dissatisfaction, and the only thing I got off from was porn and masturbation which I have been doing since I was 13 and now to think of it is depressing and pathetic.

Now we have broken up and I never got the hang of it. I believe it is all my fault. I feel that porn and too much masturbation is the reason I behaved the way I did, withdrawing sex from my ex who I found incredibly attractive.

Because of the problems I avoided sex out of embarrassment. My approach to sex was wrong – I saw it as performance and orgasm as the goal, not pleasure, sharing and fun. My biggest mistake was not dealing with the issue and trying to find out ways to fix or improve it.

I feel hopeless and depressed because of my past and don’t know how to cope with my sexual difficulties. I am trying to abstain from porn and masturbation to re-sensitise my penis, reboot my brain and boost my libido and sexual desire. I need help to move on.


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If you are addicted to—or struggling to quit—pornography you are not alone. We have a list of groups and websites that can help at our online Resource Center.

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