Ever since I first saw pornography at the library, I sought it out.
My parents tried everything they could to prevent my access, but I always found a way. I watched it habitually until I got married and then I tried to quit.
I found myself watching again and when my wife found out, even though I saw how much it hurt her, I still didn’t stop. It almost led to divorce several times.
I eventually went to sexaholics anonymous because I realized I couldn’t stop of my own will. I’ve been clean now for a year and my marriage and family relationships have vastly improved.
I’m so sorry for the 15+ years I wasted in shame of my double life, how I lied to my parents and hurt them, my infidelity to my wife through pornography and the turmoil it put our marriage and our children through. I wish I’d never seen it that day and I’m dismayed that even now libraries don’t have safeguards in place to protect children.