Ever since I first saw porn at the library, I sought it out

Ever since I first saw pornography at the library, I sought it out.

My parents tried everything they could to prevent my access, but I always found a way. I watched it habitually until I got married and then I tried to quit.

I found myself watching again and when my wife found out, even though I saw how much it hurt her, I still didn’t stop. It almost led to divorce several times.

I eventually went to sexaholics anonymous because I realized I couldn’t stop of my own will. I’ve been clean now for a year and my marriage and family relationships have vastly improved.

I’m so sorry for the 15+ years I wasted in shame of my double life, how I lied to my parents and hurt them, my infidelity to my wife through pornography and the turmoil it put our marriage and our children through. I wish I’d never seen it that day and I’m dismayed that even now libraries don’t have safeguards in place to protect children.

The Numbers


NCOSE leads the Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation with over 300 member organizations.


The National Center on Sexual Exploitation has had over 100 policy victories since 2010. Each victory promotes human dignity above exploitation.


NCOSE’s activism campaigns and victories have made headlines around the globe. Averaging 93 mentions per week by media outlets and shows such as Today, CNN, The New York Times, BBC News, USA Today, Fox News and more.



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Sharing experiences may be a restorative and liberating process. This is a place for those who want to express their story.

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