August 20, 2012

Exposed to it young, but Internet made it so easy

I came across pornography at a young age, while I was playing as a kidand found some obscene magazine that had been thrown on a public lot. I wasboth disturbed and impressed with the pictures and it imprinted a curiosity for such material in my mind and soul. As a teenager, I openly discussed the
subject with friends, currently joked about it and, since the VHS era was on the
rise, it was not rare for us to rent an x-rated movie along with ‘normal stuff’
during sleepovers. I was however traumatized when, around the age of 15, I
have discovered that type of material hidden in my parents’bedroom. As a
young adult, porn movies became a ‘normal’ entertainment on some romantic
occasions with my wife. Unsurprisingly, the coming of the Internet in the mid 90s
made things even worst, when peeping at such obscenities became so easy and
private. I became litterally addicted to it and felt it was ‘ok’ since my wife vaguely
knew about it and showed some appreciation herself. I came to realize what a
major issue it was when I ended up watching online movies and downloading
thousands & thousands of x-rated pictures as soon as I had a spare moment,
even neglecting my family and job to watch more of it: it had become a lifestyle
and a very harmful habit. When even your intimate intercourses with your
spouse are mainly ‘spiced up’ with discussions that sounds as if they were
borrowed from those atrocious productions, things are out of control. The worst
is that, at such a point, it becomes part of what you are and it destroys all the
beauty of matrimonial intimacy. I only could start fighting it when I got back to
my spiritual roots as a catholic, realizing how far from Salvation I ended up
being. Even though I have some moments of hesitations (even some very
‘softcore’ images in everyday ‘publicity’ can lead into temptation), I was able to
overcome the addiction.

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