August 21, 2012

Hard to overcome the porn use in my marriage

Four years ago I discovered my husband of 18 years pornography use. He claims he had been looking at pornography on the internet for the previous 8 years. We are still together but I have Post Traumatic Stress and still don’t trust him though he claims he doesn’t use porn any more. I haven’t discovered any for a long time. I lost 40 pounds and am still recovering. My daughter has also been detrimentally affected by the fighting between me and my husband and the instability of our marriage over the past four years.

He denies that pornography is harmful but willingly gave it up. He is not in any recovery program and denies he ever had a problem. He finds emotional intimacy terrifying. He is an educated middle aged man who comes from an abusive background.

My life changed that day I discovered the porn. I am now a volunteer who educates college students about healthy sexual relationships. Am am an anti-porn activist and a radical feminist. I am politically liberal in most things except porn. I am deeply spiritual rather than religious. My husband is an atheist.

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