April 9, 2012

My experience – Relationships and abused family members

I am a 51 years old mother of a disabled daughter. Here is what porn has done to my family:

I was married 16 years to a man that had no clue how to relate to a woman. He was withdrawn and kept a distance from his family. He was not able and was depressed constantly. Because I had never dealt with a man addicted to porn, I had no idea what the problem was. I knew he wasnt physically seeing another woman. He would stay in the room by himself from the time he came in from work until the time he went back. He would sleep with a laptop beside the bed. When I would go talk to him he would slam the laptop down and say he had to go to the bathroom. Then, when I would leave he would go back and get right back on it. One of my sons walked in early one sunday morning and saw him downloading loads of porn to his laptop. He told me. Finally, I knew the problem. It wasnt but a year after that we were divorced. We have been divorced for 6 years. He is a loner, pops zanex, and is addicted to porn. I am caring for our disabled daughter whom he rarely sees.

A year after my divorce I met another man who seemed real nice but he to has the same problem. He locks himself  the bedroom from the time he comes home until he gets up to go to work. He does this five days aweek (but at his home). He sees no problem; he has no friends; is suffering from depression; has over 100 porn dvds and 200 magazines and this doesn’t include his Internet porn. Hee even has sex with a blowup doll. He has panic attacks and has ruined any chance of a good relationship that we could’ve had. He can not socialize with any woman and only views us as objects.He will openly admit he will never be happy, but is too deep into porn to get out. My fear is that as his parents die (which they are very sick) he will go deeper into his addiction.

My nephew was adopted by my sister when he was 13.  At the age of six he and his siblings were rescued by DSS. The children, at the hands of their own parents, were forced to get in the living room floor while their parents watched porn.These children (2, 5, 6) were forced to act out the sexual acts being watched on the tv. If they refused they were beat. The daughter, 5 yrs old, was molested by an uncle who also lived there and viewed porn.

Porn is dangerous to everyone. I cant see why it is legal. Porn is all over the internet ruining lives everyday. As for me I am afraid to get into another relationship. I don’t believe I can take they hurt anymore.

-R

Further Reading