Pornography: the ugly truth about the performers!

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Pornography destroys, corrupts and is a detriment to society. There was a time in my life I never gave a thought as to the results of pornography on our children, myself, and especially the women involved in this brutal trade. Trade? Yes pornography is a trade and what is traded is morality and humanity for money. `

While on active duty in the US Army I began watching pornography on a regular basis. The debasing and objectification of woman corrupted my view of how to treat women, therefore I subconsciously viewed woman as disposable and without compassion. I wasted and ruined one marriage and many relationships as a result of this subconscious and conscious reenforcement of questionable sex acts and outright brutality. It took many years of therapy to overcome this acceptance that pornography does no harm to anyone especially myself.

Furthermore as my daughter was born 13 years ago, I asked myself would I want my daughter involved in pornography? Is it ok for her to watch pornography? of course the answer is a resounding , NO! Did you know national statistics reveal that 75% of 12 year olds have viewed pornography and 55% view pornography on a regular basis.

This could have been the end of my little rant on pornography and it s harmful effects on society but I had the uncanny chance of not only meeting but dating an infamous adult actress and entertainer. The following is a condensed synapses of my experience with her, it has left me broken in my heart as to the brutality of this ugly business and a desire to express to the world the human toll of the pornography trade.

For the past 6 months I have been caring for an increasingly disabled woman. I will refer to her as “Mary.”
She has become disabled physically as well as mentally due to her involvement in the pornographic industry as well as various abusive acts.
Having befriended Mary, I have become aware  of  the horrific virtual enslavement of women in sex trade. Control of these girls/women  is achieved  through drugs, physical  and mental abuse.

Mary has been mentally  abused and raped from an early age of 12 yrs  old and by the time she became 18 she was involved in pornography & prostitution.

Much as a race horse is used to make profit for owners, Mary has been used to make pornographers and associated  profit.
Mary has been fed a steady diet of street drugs, alcohol & prescription anti depressant to keep her working in pornography/sex industry.
Mary has suffered  /survived brutal attacks, robbery rapes, despicable acts of abuse by men. Mary has been swindled out of all the money she made by a thug/pimp of an ex husband.
Now  @ the end of her usefulness to pornographers, lawyers and associated predatory industry people,

Mary’s  only source of income is to work as a “Web Cam” model performing sex shows to perverts on the internet and prostitution.
The constant fear of being beat or murdered on a call, the  physical & mental abuse has left Mary a paranoid, depressed,alcoholic  woman.

Mary has a plethora of serious disorders and maladies, among them severe gastro- intestinities that causes hemorrhage, a rare eye disorder, vertigo, nausea, intense migraine and spinal  problem.

Mary’s alcohol dependency is so severe that she has a physical dependency that requires a monitored medical  detoxification.

Mary uses daily a cocktail of  alcohol and prescribed drugs such as Vallum & Pristique to allow her to “work”

This work mentally dehabilitates Mary more and more as the customers verbally insult & demean her which reinforces a destructive cycle of increased alcohol & prescribed drug  use.

Mary is often   unable to distinguish reality from fantasy. She watches conspiracy and end of the world programs virtually from the second she wakes until she sleeps with the programs running in a que  sub consciously reinforcing  a negative, harmful  fearful attitude.

Mary is  mentally and physically  unable to perform daily chores such a laundry, cleaning, driving, shopping and cooking.
There are times that she is so severely depressed she will not leave the house for weeks,  get out of bed or even  shower.

I have been increasingly caring for Mary.
First of all I have been paying Mary’s rent and utilities, this allows Mary not to “work” at the webcamera.
Moreover my presence gives her a connection to reality and a loving, caring person. This care has a positive effect on Mary’s general well being. Her attitude improves greatly as well as mental state.
The more contact I have with Mary the more her mental state improves. My presence keeps her from “working webcam” I am able to administer positive reinforcement  therapy and genuine care to Mary.

You see Mary wishes to get out of this sordid trade. She has attempted in the past to break out of the vicious cycle but has been forced by necessity or coercion of unscrupulous porn associated lawyers.

Being a certified  first responder, I recognize the severe and urgent need to get not only medical help for Mary but compassionate humane interaction.
I have had to monitor Mary often as her gastro problem causes her to vomit and defecate blood indicating severe dangerous hemorrhage. She becomes incapacitated often fainting or collapsing. I have had to carry her to bed and monitor her vitals

Today Mary made a tremendous breakthrough recognizing she needs medical help and is an alcoholic. Mary realizes she needs professional mental  treatment.
Mary is a very intelligent, beautiful, compassionate woman. She has a soul and a heart it has been suppressed and vitually held captive by the sex trade. She has a 12 year old daughter who she cares for with out support from an abusive negligent ex husband.
It is my opinion that Mary is in danger of an accidental overdose and death.
I am asking for your assistance in any capacity to help allow Mary happiness, health and freedom from sex business.
She desperately  needs compassion, understanding, medical attention.
I have been trying to get Mary to apply for SSI and /or State Disability however she has been denied.

I saw a glimpse of the beautiful person Mary is when lucid and able to express her feelings and desires but she needs so much more help than I’m able to give her.

If you wish to help Mary and others that have suffered/suffering at the hands of this destructive, inhumane, business I have provide a few links below.


The Numbers


NCOSE leads the Coalition to End Sexual Exploitation with over 300 member organizations.


The National Center on Sexual Exploitation has had over 100 policy victories since 2010. Each victory promotes human dignity above exploitation.


NCOSE’s activism campaigns and victories have made headlines around the globe. Averaging 93 mentions per week by media outlets and shows such as Today, CNN, The New York Times, BBC News, USA Today, Fox News and more.



Survivor Lawsuit Against Twitter Moves to Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals

Survivors’ $12.7M Victory Over Explicit Website a Beacon of Hope for Other Survivors

Instagram Makes Positive Safety Changes via Improved Reporting and Direct Message Tools

Sharing experiences may be a restorative and liberating process. This is a place for those who want to express their story.

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