Personal testimony from a man who submitted his story of addiction and recovery to be shared with others.
I started watching porn at 10 years old.
Back then it was on dial up internet, with no “parental controls” or filters. They just didn’t exist. So, any kid could just find pornography like I did. This continued past my childhood into my teenage years, of course with the help of a smartphone later on. I felt horrible every time I watched porn.
I felt gross and like a failure.
At 20 I started dating my now wife and hid the fact that I watched porn from her. I watched porn the entire time we dated behind her back because I had become addicted and didn’t want to admit it to her. We had sexual problems due to me watching porn, it made it hard for me to have sex with her and also watch the porn I was addicted to. I was sexually exhausted. She eventually caught me watching it after we got married and she was pregnant with our son. It broke her heart that I would do that even though we had sex. And it hurt her that I wasn’t able to perform in bed and she felt like I was choosing porn over her, and I was.
So I stopped watching porn.
I got rid of my smartphone, it was my #1 trigger. And haven’t watched porn in 1 year and 7 months. And I am so much happier. I have a great sex life with my wife. I can actually perform in bed now and satisfy my wife instead of hurting her or sneaking behind her back.
Have you or a loved one been impacted by pornography or other forms of sexual exploitation? You can share your story, to be shared anonymously, here:
